Tuesday, November 28, 2006


According to A.P., President Bush continues on his journey to the very foundations of NATO -- former Soviet Republics, Latvia & Estonia -- spewing forth a hail of bullshit so extreme that meteorologists predict the worst winter for the Baltic region since 1941-42. What's the latest from the Chief Exec? Hmmm, a selected sampling if we may (I won't make any comments about grammar or diction. You don't need me to point them out; they're there for the taking, like fruit drooping on vines in overripe glory):
"There's a lot of sectarian violence taking place, fomented in my opinion because of the attacks by al-Qaida causing people to seek reprisal."
"Al-Qaida," like "Liberty," "Freedom," "God," "The Terrorists," or "Evildoers" is a phrase Bush reflexively throws into his answer anytime he doesn't know what to say. For example, if a reporter asked him about stresses to the economy, he might answer, "Money spent to fight terror, the evildoers. Gotta preserve our freedom from Al-Qaida. God bless America." From there, he moved on to Iraq's relations with neighboring states:
"If that's what they think they ought to do [meet with Iranian leaders], that's fine. One thing Iraq would like to see is for the Iranians to leave them alone. The Iranians and the Syrians should help — not destabilize — this young democracy. That government is being undermined, in my opinion, by extremist forces encouraged out of Syria and Iran. Why? Because a democracy will be a major defeat for those who articulate extremist points of view."
You can play your own version of "Switch the Names of Nations" at home. I won't stop you. Then, when asked if a state of Civil War existed in Iraq, Bush was coy:
"When you see a young democracy beginning to emerge in the Middle East, the extremists try to defeat its emergence."
Having studied Bushese for the last couple years, I'll translate: "Civil War? Hell yeah." Referring to the alliance, he also said:
"Members must accept difficult assignments if we expect to be successful."
This one translates as a request for other allied nations to send their boys (and girls) into the meatgrinder known as The Extremist-Threatened Emerging Democracy Non-Civil War Civil War. And finally, in the most interesting turn, addressing the constant sectarian violence against civilians, soldiers, militiamen, and every other human being in every corner of Iraq, the White House Big Boy said that:
"We've been in this phase for a while."
You don't say? That'd be the post-Mission Accomplished Phase, I presume. But, what makes this especially notable is the following, from National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley, aboard Air Force One on the way to Estonia yesterday:
"We're clearly in a new phase characterized by an increase in sectarian violence that requires us to adapt to that new phase."
I don't wanna overplay my hand here. I know folks will make mistakes, verbal gaffes, communication miscues. But you'd think that before a multi-nation tour, for the purpose of galvanizing support for the endless war that we're embroiled in, the friggin' President and one of his advisors on the same damn plane, would have their stories together! And they wonder why Americans increasingly worry that there's no plan to win, no plan to exit, no plan to do anything except die and spend money.

But, have no fear, all is well. Things are going just as they always have. How's that? Well, as Hadley went on to say:
"We're not at the point where the president is going to be in a position to lay out a comprehensive plan."
No shit. Yeah, that "point" isn't likely to come til January 20, 2009, at the earliest. But thanks for letting us in on that, Stephen. And for your honesty, I think we can all expect you to be fired by the time you return stateside.

Might wanna leave this gig off the résumé though.


Blogger DED said...

C'mon Pelosi. I know you can say it. Try it with me now... IM... PEACH... MENT. There, that wasn't so hard now was it.

9:23 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Hey man, you know where I stand on this.

But I figure since Pelosi and frinds say that option's off the table, I try not to bang drums with skins made from Dead Horsehide.

10:06 AM  
Blogger DED said...

I know, Mike. I'm just feeling my pre-election frustration creeping back, especially after some of the stuff that I've read over the last few days and I want those scumbags (Cheney first) gone. I can't sit through another two years of Bushit.

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

That's why I've been hoping the dormant press would emerge from its 6 year slumber.

I'm still waiting.

11:58 AM  
Blogger George said...

Hey, can we elect a new press? I'm all for term limits for pundit hacks like George Will and even James "Stab Dean in the Back" Carville.

12:40 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

can we elect a new press?

That's a great idea. And if we can't elect them, it'd be nice to impeach and convict.

I'd start with the NY Times for general dereliction of duty.

12:55 PM  
Blogger DED said...

Well, I'm gonna nominate Olbermann for another term because he's been hounding W for years. When the other newsjocks were mum, Olbermann was tearing it up. This year, he's been brutal with his "Special Comments."

And NBC was the first network with the balls to call Iraq for what it is: a civil war.

12:59 PM  
Blogger Weaseldog said...

Every major turn of events in Iraq, was forseen by the administration of the First George Bush.

We've known all along, as did little Bushie, what war in Iraq would look like.

Yet little Bushie started this war undermanned and underequipped, knowing full well how it would turn out.

This situation was the intention all along.

At least Halliburton is still getting billions in tax payer dollars for projects that never get started and to pump oil that they sell and keep the profits on.

Bush says we won't leave until the mission is done. Is that the mission to pump Iraq dry?

1:42 PM  
Anonymous waitingforthealiens said...

This comment has been removed because it linked to malicious content. Learn more.

3:10 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

That's a good one, WFTA.

As to the internets being the new press, it's a matter of degree. For every blogger or alternapress website, there are five CNNs or MSNBCs or Yahoo! News which is made up entirely of AP, Reuters, and AFP feeds.

But the time's coming, that's for sure.

3:24 PM  
Blogger DED said...

Every major turn of events in Iraq, was forseen by the administration of the First George Bush.

Yep. You're exactly right. I remember seeing a documentary on the History Channel a few years ago about Desert Storm. Baker was asked why Schwarzkopf wasn't allowed to roll on into Baghdad. His reply was that they didn't have a plan for putting Iraq together after Saddam was toppled.

W and his neocon cronies didn't either but that didn't stop him.

5:43 PM  

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