Monday, December 29, 2008

STUDIES SHOW THAT TEENS ARE MORE LIKELY THAN NON-TEENS TO ACT LIKE TEENS

From the lead article of today's issue of "You Don't Say?" Magazine, we learn, shockingly, that "Many Teens Don't Keep Virginity Pledges." In fact, after years of tedious, expensive, and common-sense-bolstering research & analysis, "study author Janet E. Rosenbaum, a post doctoral fellow at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health" also explains that:
Virginity pledgers and similar non-pledgers don't differ in the rates of vaginal, oral or anal sex or any other sexual behavior. Strikingly, pledgers are less likely than similar non-pledgers to use condoms and also less likely to use any form of birth control.

Sex education programs for teens who take pledges tend to be very negative and inaccurate about condom and birth control information.

This high rate of [denying ever making such a pledge] may imply that nearly all virginity pledgers view pledges as nonbinding. (emphasis added.)
In another of Ms. Rosenbaum's federally-funded studies, she found that teenagers who promised parents not to drink at late night parties were just as likely to wake up at the base of a urine-stained toilet bowl, half drowning in pools of their own vomit as those teens who did not make any such promises.

Ms. Rosenbaum's next study seeks to see if a link exists between students who promise never to lie again and those who "lie more than average."

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4 Comments:

Blogger DED said...

In essence, what this shows is that "just say no" doesn't work. Social conservatives will be unable to tout "virginity pledges" as viable means of sex education, birth control, or whatever twisted version of social programs they come up with. Teens are teens. Denial of that fact is not a successful strategy.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Social conservatives will be unable to tout "virginity pledges" as viable means of sex education, birth control, or whatever twisted version of social programs they come up with.

Huh? Are you assuming that evidence (scientific or otherwise) would have the slightest effect on their ideas and goals? I assure you that the results of this "study" will not phase them in the least.

(Plus, the researcher was a Jew, so they can ignore her and blame the Northeast elitists while they're at it.)

2:37 PM  
Blogger Agi said...

as IOZ put it today..."Abstinence education leads to buttfucking!"

8:45 PM  
Blogger DED said...

Are you assuming that evidence (scientific or otherwise) would have the slightest effect on their ideas and goals?

Whoops, my bad.

Well, it'll be harder for social conservative policy wonks to make that argument at least.

5:43 PM  

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