ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT HER LIFE IS PRETTY PLAIN . . .

Reporting on the incomprehensible, but growing, popularity of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, we learn that in an effort to capitalize on that increased interest, organizers actually broadcast the uber-nerd contest on prime time television.

Unreported, however, was the appearence by one especially awkward young girl, dressed as a bee.

"I thought it was a good opportunity, o-p-p-o-r-t-u-n-i-t-y, opportunity to show the world how much I love bees," Prissilla Arnold snorted through a Horshack-type laugh. "I love the community-oriented insects, as well as the spelling competition, c-o-m-p-e-t-i-t-i-o-n, competition."

Asked why he allowed his daughter to subject herself to such abject humiliation on television, Arnold Arnold, himself a semi-finalist in the 1981 Bee, said, "Abject? A-b-j-e-c-t, abject, come on, you can do better than that."

"I dressed in this bee costume in every elimination round, e-l-i-m-i-n-a-t-i-o-n, elimination, all the way to the finals," Prissilla told us. "The other juveniles, j-u-v-e-n-i-l-e-s, juveniles made fun of my outfit, but I made it to the finals and they didn't."

When reporters inquired whether she was concerned that her obsession with spelling bees and bee costumes might cost her opportunities to make friends, Prissilla said, "Friends? I don't have time for friends. I have to read the dictionary during my free time."