Tuesday, October 03, 2006

LOVING AMERICA . . . A LITTLE TOO MUCH

AP reports that the Florida GOP has announced that Joe Negron will replace Mark Foley on the November ballot, in an effort to hold the disgraced representative's seat.

Negron admits that Foley's shoes will be tough to fill, but he vows to do all he can to both live up to Foley's legacy and surpass his accomplishments:
"Alcohol-fueled pedophila is a tall order, and no one could do that like Mark. I have to reach for my own identity. Therefore, I will snort blow off the naked breasts of a Congressional page before sending lewd and suggestive text messages to Barney Frank's pre-pubescent cat, Max. I also plan to submit a bill forbidding homosexual marriage as I simultaneously fellate Rick Santorum in the Capitol Building Rotunda in broad daylight. We must continue to give the public what it expects. Scandal & Shame: it's the American way."
Negron's replacement is already in line. Despite the Democrats reluctance to really duke it out this fall, the balance of power in Washington may change nonetheless, as the Republicans seem poised to lose both houses of Congress via scandal-driven resignation.

7 Comments:

Blogger Alan P. said...

Congreffs is ex-Foley-ated, good for the complexion, does little else. Glad the hammer is gone too. Only 433 scumbags left in congreffs. Brehehe!

11:38 AM  
Blogger Thrillhous said...

Next to Foley/Negron, Katherine Harris isn't looking quite so bad.

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Until you get real close. Then, you notice what lurks beneath the Tammy Fae make-up, and then it looks reeeeaaaaaaaal bad.

12:35 PM  
Blogger DED said...

Mort, you forgot about Bob Ney and Duke Cunningham. Both guys resigned this year due to Abramoff.

3:59 PM  
Blogger Otto Man said...

Any chance that guy's related to Taylor Negron, the fabulously fabulous actor?

5:14 PM  
Blogger DED said...

It's amazing that the so-called party of family values can be so degenerate, so addicted to power, as to allow this to go on as long as it did. Fortunately, even conservatives that I typically despise, like Larry Kudlow, are calling for lard ass Hastert to resign as Speaker of the House. Maybe they realize that this will hurt the Republicans in November and they need a couple of them to fall on their swords for the benefit of the party.

But Republicans and their right wing media lapdogs aren't having it. If you didn't see Countdown tonight, you missed a whole slew of them, on message, spewing the same examples over and over.

Is it just me or does the Foley cover up sound just like the pedophilic priest cover up by the Catholic Church? It's all about control of the public's perception of the organization doing the cover up. Both the Catholic Church and the Republican party, who claim to be all about morality, are putting their interests, their desire to retain control and power, above that of children. Is it any wonder that people are disillusioned and cynical towards both?

12:53 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Otto-

I knew I recognized him from the picture: he delivered the pizza to Mr. Hand's class!

Maybe he'll deliver pizza to Jabba Hastart. Comedy potential alert.

Ded-

I agree. Let's see, though, if the disillusionment & cynicism comes to fruition next month. Afterall, the Catholic church went from pedophiles to Hitler Youth. Change, I suppose, but perhaps not the way it was scripted.

5:20 AM  

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