LADIES & GENTLEMAN . . . WELL, THEY ARE STILL IN FIRST

As you can tell from the post below, I'm back. And distraught! When I left, the Mets were 90-55, poised to clinch the division, cruise towards 105 wins, wreck the psyches of the other NL teams, and force baseball historians to add a new chapter to their "Greatest Teams Ever" books.

Instead I find a 93-64 team, now third in the NL in runs scored, limping into the post-season in the midst of a massive power slump. 3-9 against the Pirates, Marlins, Nats and Braves?! Unless I'm mistaken, none of those teams are over .500. I know they're playing out the string, getting rested, prepping for the second season. But prepping for getting shutout isn't the prescription!

But I'm gonna be optimistic. I'm hopeful. And . . . I'm an egotist. The Mets have slumped for one reason, and one reason only: I was away. The players called a team meeting after reading my last post a week-and-a-half ago, and decided collectively to suck 'til I got back:

Beltran: If Mike away, I no play.
Reyes: Although I will pad my SB numbers, I refuse to hit triples or homers.
Trachsel: I will put my "Suck No More" strategy on hold until Mike returns.
Wright: We're just going to have to take it one day at a time until our guide and mentor returns. You know, playing professional sports is a full time occupation requiring balance and patience. The long season has a leveling effect . . .
'Stache: Willie won't let me groom my moustache in his office until Mike gets back.
Uncle Cliffy: The 2006 season started?

But like Eddie Felson said in Color of Money, "I'm Back."

So, if I can be excused for quoting that film rather than The Hustler (as well as for abandoning the team and all its fans), let me declare once and for all: it's all gonna be ok. 4-1 from here on out. October awaits.