Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Remain confused no longer! If you've been wondering how a successful entity like the Ford Motor Co. could be facing its demise, your answer is here. It's not bloated executive salaries. Nope. Nor is it fuel costs, labor expenses, poor strategic planning or even private jets. No, no, no, no, no.

It's merely the unfortunate, but unpreventable, byproduct of Ford's top-to-bottom sacrifice to give America's drivers the one thing they've clamored for without pause since 1948: self-parking cars.

Just a few billion dollars more of tax-payer money and they're gonna get this baby on the road. And once no one has to park his own car anymore . . . well, our problems (and Ford's!) are over.

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Blogger DED said...

Yep. I saw that headline and I thought, "Idiots."

5:47 PM  
Blogger Bukko_in_Australia said...

Oh yeahhhhh! And Ford will pay the repair costs when the system goes haywire and your Lincoln's boot winds up reverse-humping the bonnet of the car parked behind it... I see that happening the same year that Hormel patents the flying pig.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Hormel patents the flying pig

If that was a necessary condition to receiving bailout money, they'd develop it.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Mr Furious said...

What. The. Fuck.

12:48 AM  
Blogger Bob said...

Was it stupid when Levus started offering this feature two years ago? Yes it was, and still is for one reason. The Lexus system doesn't work.

12:08 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Was it stupid when Lexus started offering this feature two years ago?

Of course! Bob, I realize you are very pro-Detroit/Big Three and I won't try to change your opinion.

But I am anti-bailout, period. No exceptions. In my opinion, if your business fails -- for whatever reason -- then you go down for the count. Nothing against incompetent American automakers any more than sleazy American bankers or foreign car makers (incompetent or otherwise).

No bailout money. Period.

12:26 PM  

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