Thursday, May 11, 2006

LORDS OF BOONDOGTOWN

In the latest chapter of the revolting post-WWII phenomenon, "Turning Whatever Kids Like Into Dreary, Adult-Organized Stupidity," Colorado joins a growing list of states that will include Skateboarding in its school P.E. programs.

Apart from the obvious questions, such as, Do taxpayers really need to pay $3,000 for "curriculum kits" that "include helmets, pads and skateboards with wheels designed not to scratch up gym floors"? Or, how, exactly, does Paula Kun, spokeswoman for the National Association for Sport and Physical Education, determine that while "not everyone is going to love it," nonetheless, she's "sure it'll be a fun, new activity"? Not to mention, why are "fun, new activities" part of the school program?

Eric Klassen, one of the co-owners of the company behind the $3,000 "curriculum kits," explains, "think back to when you were a kid. If you're going to go out and play, you're not thinking you're getting exercise. You're just going to run out and screw around. That's what kids think about skateboards. As long as they think that way, they're going to keep on doing it" (emphases added).

Yes, Eric. You're right. Which is precicely why, along with other crap like Little League, children shouldn't be "taught" recreation. Do we need to continue destroying their fun & games? What's next? Halloween Vandalism in art class? Bra-strap snapping in sex ed? Noogies, dead arms & purple nurples in gym? Enough!

Children need a zone apart from adult supervision and intrusion. That's what "childhood" is.

The self-interested charlatans behind this Colorado school boondoggle put on their own spinning wheels when they explain that "students can achieve balance and core strength with skateboarding, not to mention higher self-esteem, once they realize they can do it."

Oh.

Yet, after 5th grader Davis Wheeler expressed surprise, telling reporters that he "didn't know that would ever happen at any school," there appears the line that belies the nonsense once and for all: he "learned to skateboard at age 7 from his brother."

Maybe someday he'll develop the core strength, balance and self-esteem on his own.

3 Comments:

Blogger bdodgey said...

I couldn't think of anything more sapping of one's self-esteem than, as a gangly child, attempting to ride a skate board!

Hell, I can't even do it now. I think if I had've been forced to skateboard now, I wouldn't be the well-adjusted souless shell of a human I am today!

9:24 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Bdog-

Exactly. Schools have been churning out "well-adjusted souless shells of humanity" for ages without skateboards.

They should stick with what works.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Weaseldog said...

Just thinking about the stuff I found fun and rewarding as a kid, one fun activity comes to mind. I wonder if they could do it?

It's called poking a wasp nest with a stick.

There are so many lifelong lessons a kid can take with him or her, from that simple and innocent activity.

3:05 PM  

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