WHEN WILL THE HORRORS CEASE?

Continuing on the running theme of hunger and starvation, Reuters reports that former Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein, has ended his one meal hunger strike.

Yes, that's correct. One meal.

According to a U.S. military spokesman, following the shooting death of yet another of his defense attorneys, Saddam "refused lunch," but "ate his evening meal."

Apart from obvious questions, such as "what's he on trial for again?" and "does anyone care if he eats?" I'm led to consider why, exactly, Hussein felt the need to go on his dramatic one meal hunger strike. Among the possibilities:

1. Feeling that the killing of only one defense attorney is beneath his stature on the world stage, Saddam bravely refused lunch in an effort to facilitate the murder of scores of lawyers.

2. Fearing more embarrassing photos of his stocky frame sporting only tighty-whiteys, Hussein felt the need to slim down his waistline and lose the man-tits. After one skipped meal and endless flattery from handlers, however, he concluded that he'd suffered enough in the name of vanity.

3. Steak, salad, rice and dessert just aren't up to the standards of a strongman who subjegated his nation for decades. "Foie Gras or nothing!" Saddam is rumored to have declared. In deference to his wishes, the American military supplied him with the fatty goose liver he needs. Your tax dollars at work.

4. Fearing that anarchy, civil war, and dozens of civilian deaths every day weren't drawing adequate attention to the growing disaster in the corner of the world known as Iraq, Hussein saw the need to draw international attention the only way he could. There's a reason his people love him.

5. One word: Happy Meal (Ok, that's two words, but let's not get technical here.)