Monday, June 19, 2006

LE MONDE, C'EST MOI

This Monday morning piece from A.P.'s "Political Writer" informs us that Hillary Clinton, officially running for re-election as New York's junior Senator, has distributed a fundraising letter that fails to mention "New York," but instead "slips eight references to 'America' or 'Americans' into two pages."

Questioned about this, Senator Clinton was unapologetic: "What? The people of New York are voting for anyone but me? Please, I can't lose. It's a complete waste of my time to 'run' for re-election in New York. I'm not even from that place and they love me anyway. Not to mention, this 'Junior' thing is starting to piss me off. Who do Americans think of when they think of New York? Schumer?"

A brief excerpt from the fundraising letter also sees the "eight references to America" eclipsed by dozens of additional references to a subject even closer to Senator Clinton's heart: Herself. Four references in only four sentences, for a perfect 1.000. To wit:
My name is at the top of their list. The Republicans can't stomach the fact that I'm leading the fight against their misplaced priorities. That's why Karl Rove was quoted as saying, 'We have to do something about her.' It's no secret that they are willing to spend millions of dollars to tear me down between now and Election Day.
(Emphases added). After another reporter asked her if it wasn't perhaps a bit crass to approach things this way, Clinton interrupted, "Crass? This is politics, buddy. I've always been crass, and so was my husband. He never let anyone forget that it was all about . . . him. And I didn't see it cause him too much harm, did you? We're just a couple grifters from Little Rock when you get down to it. Don't forget that."

Turning to speculation that she's positioning herself to run for President in '08, Senator Clinton answered, "No shit, Sherlock. What J-school did you get your degree from? Of course I'm running for President in '08. What planet you been living on?"

Finally, responding to more pointed questions, including queries as to what, precisely, she does stand for, Clinton looked reporters in the eyes, pointing for emphasis, declaring, "I stand for me. Hillary Rodham Clinton. And don't you forget it. And you know what? You'll vote for me anyhow. What are you gonna' do instead? Vote Republican? Yeah, right."

6 Comments:

Anonymous monsieur xyz said...

Billary is a clown. She won't get the nod from the Dems because middle America hates her. After that self-aggrandizing speach she won't be able to run for dog catcher in NY either. What's next for Billary? I'd guess governor of Arkansas.

4:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, Mike writes a bunch of lies about Clinton, cleverly disguised as satire, and other rightwing clowns eat it up. Why, that guy is gonna be the next Rush Limbaugh! A lawyer who hates his job. How impressive.

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

"So, Mike writes a bunch of lies about Clinton, cleverly disguised as satire, and other rightwing clowns eat it up."

C'mon, Hillary! Where's your sense of humor. Though I'm *flattered* to see you reading my blog. Excellent taste you've got, excellent. But next time, lose the "anonymous," as give us the "Hill" we're all expecting.

11:01 PM  
Anonymous monsieur xyz said...

anonymous,

You glean much from little. How very astute. Might I suggest a nic? How about Carnac? Shall we indulge in psychic intercourse? Why sure, why should we deny ourselves such a simple pleasure? I am guessing that you are a true believer in American politics, that you always vote your conscience, and hope that one day the democrats will reinstate integrity to government. How did I do?

11:09 PM  
Blogger DED said...

I think the first two comments just goes to show that Hilary running for president would be divisive for the country. There's still enough resentment on the right from her years as First Lady that the Limbaugh types would have a field day.

Personally, I don't find her politics that bad that she should receive so much scorn. Yeah, she's a carpetbagger and you can definitely knock for that (I have) but I'm under the impression that Arkansas didn't want the Clinton's back. Relocating their home residence to NY while Bill was still Prez was a shrewd move. While I don't want her to run for President in '08, it's because I'm tired of the Bush-Clinton back and forth of the last 18 years. I'd like to see some fresh faces in the White House.

And I really thought Mike's satire was right on the mark.

10:53 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

What's this "satire" everyone keeps talking about?

You don't believe Hill really said "no shit, Sherlock" to reporters?

Havge I lost *all* credibility? Alas!

11:53 AM  

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