Thursday, August 24, 2006

THE BOMBING OF PLUTO WILL COMMENCE AT DUSK

Following the long-awaited vote of "leading astronomers," AP reports that Pluto, named after a beloved-cartoon dog, has been kicked out of the Solar System. Heretofore, Pluto will be known as a "Dwarf Planet" or a "Minor Planet." Press Secretary Tony Snow, speaking on behalf of the Adminstration, declared it "a Rogue Planet."

In recognition of this dubious honor, Iran, Iraq & North Korea granted the pariah planet instant membership in the prestigious Axis Of Evil. Unsurprisingly, Sudan, Cuba, Venezuela & Bolivia -- all on the Axis wait list for nearly five years -- did not take the news quietly, claiming that Pluto was being granted "special favors" for "obvious political reasons."

14 Comments:

Blogger DED said...

You're kidding about Pluto, the now "dwarf planet", being named after the Disney dog, right?

12:07 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Ded-

You mean it was named after Popeye's enemy?

12:09 PM  
Blogger DED said...

Ok, you were kidding.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Alan P. said...

Those bastidges, back in third grade they told me it was nine! Mercury is smaller than Titan but they didn't kick it out. Discrimination, because Pluto is on the wrong side of the solar system I guess. This country is getting stupider by the minute.

2:02 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

This country is getting stupider by the minute.

While I've been known to bang that drum a time or two, can the US really take credit for this one? Aren't the "leading atronomers" part of an international group?

2:35 PM  
Blogger Alan P. said...

Okay, if you like, the world is getting stupider by the minute.;-)

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Ok, fair enough.

Carry on.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Otto Man said...

If it's a dwarf planet, they're going to have to change the name to Sneezy.

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Be sure to be good to your waitresses, people.

5:31 PM  
Blogger Thrillhous said...

This is just more big thinking from the administration, adding it to the list of rogue states. 5 years after 9/11, and we haven't taken out a SINGLE planet!

We must destroy Pluto to pop the head of the snake that is Jupiter.

7:38 AM  
Blogger Thrillhous said...

Wait a sec - how did this post get to 9 comments without a single Uranus joke?

Something's wrong in America, something very wrong.

7:39 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

how did this post get to 9 comments without a single Uranus joke?

Check out the title of my first post on this story from earlier in the week: http://mikesneighborhood.blogspot.com/2006/08/uranus-is-next.html

8:23 AM  
Blogger DED said...

If I had a dollar for every Uranus joke I've heard through the years, I could buy the friggin' planet and rename it.

4:56 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

What would you rename it?

C'mon, Ded, you can't drop the punchline like that.

5:02 PM  
Blogger DED said...

Punchline? I was serious.

11:01 PM  

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