Wednesday, November 15, 2006

TET OFFENSIVE ("OFFENSIVE," GET IT? AS IN SOMETHING BEING OFFENSIVE TO . . . OH NEVER MIND)

(A.P.hake) -- Due to growing popularity for both the "Walking Tour of Notable Texas Air National Guard Sights" and the "Alabama Air National Guard: Your State, Your Country, Your History" Tour, President and First Lady Bush opted instead for Vietnam as the locale for their November vacation (as opposed to the upcoming January vacation for Rick Santorum, George Allen and some of Bush's other Congressional allies).

Bush cited a life-long fascination with "that curious mixture of French and Oriental architecture," as well as "that Pho stuff, that beefy soup y'all are seeing in Houston's Vietnamese restaurants," in attempting to explain why he chose to travel to the nominally-communist Southeast Asian nation.

Asked if he saw any irony in the trip, the Commander-in-Chief merely recited, "No quagmire, no parallel." Reporters were perplexed by the seemingly incongruous answer, but dutifully wrote it onto their notepads anyway.

Finally, in related news, Dick Cheney was scheduled to travel to Iraq this week on a diplomatic mission, but cancelled at the last minute, explaining that he had "other priorities."

4 Comments:

Anonymous waitingforthealiens said...

It is a shame the Vietnamese don’t have a robust exile community in the U.S. like the Cubans. Our Vietnam policy could be formulated by shrimp fishermen in Port Arthur, TX. I guess they are just to interested in getting on with the rest of their lives.

5:28 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

They'd just end up being rabid Republicans like the anti-communist Cuban comrades.

But shrimp is generally a positive, no matter how you use it. So maybe.

5:22 PM  
Anonymous waitingforthealiens said...

The Cubans are just rabid Cubans as any business friendly Republican will find out if he suggests any sort of rapprochement with Cuba that doesn’t assure the return of all property to the pre-1959 owners.

They are not very high on relativism.

11:56 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

The Miami Cuban exile community may be the single least-representative community on earth.

They have as much in common with Cubans from everywhere else as I have with George Bush.

12:02 PM  

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