TET OFFENSIVE ("OFFENSIVE," GET IT? AS IN SOMETHING BEING OFFENSIVE TO . . . OH NEVER MIND)
Bush cited a life-long fascination with "that curious mixture of French and Oriental architecture," as well as "that Pho stuff, that beefy soup y'all are seeing in Houston's Vietnamese restaurants," in attempting to explain why he chose to travel to the nominally-communist Southeast Asian nation.
Asked if he saw any irony in the trip, the Commander-in-Chief merely recited, "No quagmire, no parallel." Reporters were perplexed by the seemingly incongruous answer, but dutifully wrote it onto their notepads anyway.
Finally, in related news, Dick Cheney was scheduled to travel to Iraq this week on a diplomatic mission, but cancelled at the last minute, explaining that he had "other priorities."