Wednesday, November 29, 2006

THAT'LL SHOW HIM!

According to A.P., the United States has decided that the best way to punish maverick North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il is to deny him access to the luxury items he so craves: I-Pods, Segway Scooters, plasma TVs, cognac, Rolex watches, cigarettes, artwork, expensive cars, Harley Davidson motorcycles, Jet Skis.

Just to review: in order to punish Kim for acquiring uranium and other nuclear/fissile materials on the international blackmarket, the US government has determined it will no longer legally export I-Pods and cognac to Pyongyang.

And on the domestic front, Drug Enforcement Agents plan to fight the trafficking of cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, & marijuana by outlawing sales of Ziploc Bags to any known drug dealers.

16 Comments:

Anonymous Kelly said...

The I-Pod/Plasma TV story is the one that caught my eye this morning, too. Ridculous. I yearn for the day when I wake up to find that our country no longer manages to present itself like a Dumb and Dumber preview in the international press. Guess I'll keep waiting...

10:05 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Guess I'll keep waiting...

At least til January 20, 2009. Unless Nancy whips the gang into action before then.

10:33 AM  
Blogger DED said...

You know, banning Ziploc bag sales to known drug dealers would actually hurt a little bit at first. Of course, they'd soon get around it by using plastic wrap, aluminum foil, and wax paper. Hey, they could even use tupperware. Lock in that freshness!

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

You know, DED, I can't really say what's more predictable: that you'd come along & play Devil's Advocate with your "Reason, Logic & Common Sense," blowing my half-assed comic conceit sky high . . . or that, as usual, you'd be right!

You sure you weren't a lawyer in your last gig? I starting to doubt this ChemEngineer guise.

And by the way, the drug dealers selling their "product" in Tupperware is a comedy gem. Good one.

(Not that I have any knowledge of anything drug dealers do. Who made that initial joke about Ziplocs? Who was that? Spammer! Troll!)

1:42 PM  
Blogger DED said...

play Devil's Advocate with your "Reason, Logic & Common Sense," blowing my half-assed comic conceit sky high

Sorry about that. It's a genetic flaw that I'm trying to overcome with bouts of irrational hatred towards the assholes who've been running this country the last 6 years.

You sure you weren't a lawyer in your last gig? I starting to doubt this ChemEngineer guise.

I'd spew out more meaningless chemical engineering equations but they use so many Greek letters and they're a bitch to render with HTML.

Seriously, there are some similarities in the fundamentals in becoming a lawyer or an engineer. A big reliance on rational thought being one.

And by the way, the drug dealers selling their "product" in Tupperware is a comedy gem. Good one.

Thanks. :) And for every gem there are at least a couple dozen turds or lead balloons.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

bouts of irrational hatred towards the assholes who've been running this country the last 6 years

Hey, you just leave that to me.

they use so many Greek letters and they're a bitch to render with HTML.

Like these? ∑ β Γ

Heh, heh. Every time I learn how to use a new blogging toy I can't wait to bust it out.

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Deborah said...

I thought the same thing about Ziplocs. In fact, I remember when Ziploc (which was introduced in the "pound" size) launced their sandwhich size. Dealers immediately dubbed it the "ounce" and assumed it was marketed towards them.

Which was admittedly solipsistic.

And I only know this because I'm well-read.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Weaseldog said...

So, they are going to keep ziplocs behind the counter with the Sudafed now?

"Son, I'm gonna need to see some ID before I can sell you sandwich bags."

"Hey kid, could you score me some Ziploc bags? You can keep the change."

3:56 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

"Son, I'm gonna need to see some ID before I can sell you sandwich bags."

If ID is required to eat pancakes at IHOP, why would this be at all surprising?

"Hey kid, could you score me some Ziploc bags? You can keep the change."

LOL! Nice.

4:02 PM  
Blogger DED said...

Like these? ∑ β Γ

Exactly. So where did you dig those up?

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

where did you dig those up?

This page is a thing of beauty:

http://www.dark-wraith.com/docs/blogHTML.html

A commenter bestowed it upon me months ago -- on a thread you participated in! About how to make a tilde appear in a post:

http://mikesneighborhood.blogspot.com/2006/08/cono-sorry-no-tilde-on-blogger.html

4:15 PM  
Blogger Otto Man said...

Like these? ∑ β Γ

Exactly. So where did you dig those up?


I'm going to guess -- Crete?

4:16 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

I'm going to guess -- Crete?

If I wasn't a total geek, I'd say that's the lamest joke I've ever heard.

But . . . I am a total geek, so instead I'm envious that someone else thought it up before I did.

Damn.

4:18 PM  
Blogger Otto Man said...

What can I say? I know my audience.

And sadly, I think I burned us both with that last line.

4:19 PM  
Blogger DED said...

I'm going to guess -- Crete?

[Cue rimshot]

Ouch!

This page is a thing of beauty:

Ahhhhh. I've got a 2 page printout in my desk with all the special characters available at the time (last century) but it's just a pain to dig up all the time. Now I've got that page bookmarked for handy reference. Thanks.

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

I burned us both with that last line.

Hell yeah. Be proud of it.

Now I've got that page bookmarked for handy reference. Thanks.

Hey man, full service blog here.

7:20 PM  

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