JUST DOING MY PART TO SPREAD THE HATE (ABOUT THE ONLY THING LIKELY TO GET SPREAD TODAY)
Yeah, that's certainly a vestige of my lamer days in years past when I had no one upon whom to lavish expensive gifts, sicky-sweet chocolates, and $5 roses. But I've been married now for 7 1/2 years and you know what?
I still fucking hate Valentine's Day. More than ever.
Because instead of pining away, wallowing in my loserishness because I have no lady-most-fair to spend my money on in hopes of getting a little action, now I do have a lady-most-fair to spend my money on. And I still don't get any action on Valentine's Day.
Which feels normal after a long run of fallow February Fourteenths throughout my twenties. I actually had one very successful Valentine's Day, about 11 or 12 years ago, where I had the incredibly good fortune to have not one, but two lovelies awaiting my February affections on that chocolate-covered holiday. One was the girl I was . . . let's say, "dating" at the time. And the other was a "friend" who was so distraught at not having a V-Day beau that she deigned to hit the town with me that eve. It worked out rather well from my perspective, that much I'll say. The details were nice, but I won't enumerate them here. I'm a gentleman.
(And I also have an equal interest in my manly & virile reputation and my own honesty, so a conflict awaits if I start talking too much. Use your imaginations. I guarantee it's twice as exciting as the truth)
Anyhow, Mrs. Mike & I decided last week that we'd avoid the crap and "skip" Valentine's Day this year. I still got her a little gift that's more in the line of what she likes the other 364 days of the year, as opposed to what she's been programmed to want on this one day. Which is good, actually. That way if she forgets our "deal" and gets mad at me tonight for being cheap & unromantic it'll feel . . . normal. Routine.
And if I go to bed without showering her with my Valentinish love, well that'll be pretty standard as well. Either way, I can't lose.