CHAVEZ SIGNS LONG-TERM CONTRACT, WITH OPTION TO RENEW FOREVER
Yes, the always-humorous Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez continues to march his nation in . . . unpleasant directions. In addition to his announcement that he'll introduce a referendum next year allowing him to run for President in perpetuity, his political party, The Fifth Republic Movement, is dissolving.
And, in its impending absence, Chavez "will encourage the 23 other parties that support his government to surrender their own parties and join the United Socialist Party of Venezuela."
Oh boy. That's not good news.
(Notice who he really resembles in the picture at left?)
Rumors that Chavez will grow an ill-groomed beard, wear nothing but combat fatigues, and start smoking grossly oversized cigars have not been confirmed. Stories that he'll also begin addressing the nation in rambling, marathon speeches are being dismissed by government officials as "ridiculous," because Chavez "has given long, crazy speeches for years now."
In related news, newly-appointed Defense Secretary Robert Gates told reporters that in commemoration of the 45th Anniversary of the failed Bay of Pigs invasion, US forces will attempt an amphibious landing at Caracas, only to fail miserably and draw ugly words of condemnation the world over.
"Everyone hates us already. So what the hell do we have to lose?"