Wednesday, January 24, 2007

BUSH FACES NATION, AND NATION MAKES FACES (EVEN CHENEY)

I'm busy with a lot of random shit today, so I don't have time to go into the full-depth, Wednesday Morning Quarterbacking of last night's SOTU Address that I'd planned.

Which is -- undoubtedly -- very good news for my millions (if not billions) of readers.

Therefore, some brief, disconnected, and mostly useless thoughts about last night:

* Laura looked like one of the NY Giants in those wacked-out, red throwback uniforms.

* Dick Cheney reached down to grab something, which he then put in his mouth, just after Bush spoke about health care. Assuming it was a dose of something on the spectrum from antacid-to-speed-to-heart medicine, I'm wondering who paid for it. Probably the same Federal government that pays his salary. Kinda ironical-like, huh?

* Then, as I'm sure all who watched noticed, Cheney all-but broke into laughter when Bush claimed he wanted to reduce America's gasoline use by 20% in 10 years. I'm telling you, the fat bastard was smirking & fighting the urge to start snickering like a 16 year-old high school boy who's friend passed a note about the teacher's tits.

In fairness, I was laughing too when I heard Bush make that "prediction." But I'm guessing my reasons were just a bit different than Dick's.

* Bush referred -- once - to the problem of "Global Climate Change."

Al Gore, move over! We gots ourselves a new Environmental President! Look out trees, the Chief Exec is coming to hug you.

* Not long before the Lunatic-in-Chief said that "Nothing is more important in our history" than success in Iraq, he very accurately described the cauldron by saying, "Chaos is the objective."

But before we give him the George Washington Golden Cherry Tree Award for Presidential Honesty, I'm duty-bound to inform you that he was talking about "The Enemy" in that instance.

* Speaking of "The Enemy," it's time for the SOTU Word Tally™. You may recall that yesterday I made my predictions, and a small percentage of my millions (if not billions) of readers joined in. First the word, then the actual tally, then my prediction (plus, any & all comments about the predictions of others, complete with snark & derision):
God: 1 (1) -- Who's the Big, Bad Predictin' Mofo here? Huh? HUH??? And someone told me that number was "really low."
Terror/Terrorist: 17 (14) Damn, I over bid. Bob Barker's sending my ass home empty-handed.
Security/Safety: 7 (9) WFTA nailed it. You win the Super Prize™. Check your mailbox, it'll get there . . . sometime. Or not.
Iraq(i): 32 (21)
Iran: 5 (4)
Syria: 2 (2)
North Korea: 1 (actually, a reference to "safety on the Korean peninsula) (2)
Pakistan: 0 (0)
Same-Sex Marriage: 0 (0)
Two Men Exchanging Blow-Jobs: 0 (0)
16 Year-Old Boy Giving a Blowjob to a Congressman: 0 (0)
Two men exchanging erotic massages & a meth pipe: 0 (o)
Hillary: 0 (0)
Damn. I think it's fair to say, I did ok.

But, before everyone starts sending me awards, medals, and a contract as a talking head on MSNBC, let's acknowledge that I was too stupid to realize the following words & phrases would also be peppered throughout the address:
Evil/Wicked: 3
The Enemy: 10
9/11: 5
Al Qaeda: 9
Bin Laden: 1
Nuke-ular: 2. John Royal added this word in his predictions. So even though he missed by 150%, he was the only one to call for the word (or, more accurately, the non-word). John, your Super Prize™ is on the way.
There. Anyhow, this barrage of loaded words like Terror, Al Qaeda, Iraq, Security, and . . The Enemy, all came in a quick blast in the middle of his speech, before the heart-warming (and stomach-churning) spectacle of "Bush Acknowledges The Heroes" portion of the SOTU address began. Bottom line: he's still banging the war drum, and he's still a shit.

* And finally, Jim Webb kicked mountains of ass in his response. Strong, direct, smart, and passionate, Webb not only smacked Bush down resoundingly, but I think he may have thrust himself into the field of '08 Presidential candidates, should he wish to go that route. His closing line:
"Tonight we are calling on this President to take similar action, in both areas. If he does, we will join him. If he does not, we will be showing him the way."
Or showing him the door. I'm cool with either.

22 Comments:

Anonymous John Royal said...

I couldn't help wondering if Dikembe Mutumbo asked Laura and Lynne if either of them wanted to "sex Mutumbo?"

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Jeez! This is whap happens when you try to compose a post too quikcly: You forget to manetion that Dikembe Mutumbo was part of the SOTU address.

12:53 PM  
Blogger Weaseldog said...

It seems that Congress and Bush played a lot of Kissy Face.

Bush is getting more free passes and second chances.

We're screwed.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Weaseldog said...

So he did mention Global Warming. "Oooh Doggy!" I feel like I got a Pony!

Of course, it's plastic, the mane has been pulled out and two legs are missing where the dog chewed it up. But its still a pony!

I wonder how many Dems just discovered that they got screwed again? How many still cling to beliefs that make them feel good?

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

We're screwed.

Mort, it's cool if you wanna post under aliases again, but don't use Weas's name!

1:04 PM  
Blogger Weaseldog said...

LOL!

Uhm, Bush peed in my Wheaties. I knew he was going to, but it still got me in a mood.

The word I wanted to use, rhymes with plucked.

I'm trying to be a nice guest on your blog.

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

The word I wanted to use, rhymes with plucked. I'm trying to be a nice guest on your blog.

An excellent sentiment, but utterly unnecessary. It's not as if the posts upon which we comment are clean-mouthed to begin with.

I don't trust people who don't curse, drink, or speak irreverently about authority figures.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Weaseldog said...

"I don't trust people who don't curse, drink, or speak irreverently about authority figures." - Mike

Good sentiments!

1:24 PM  
Anonymous Kelly said...

Mentions of New Orleans: Zero.

Appropriate indignaton located here:

http://b.rox.com/archives/2007/01/24/shame-on-you-president-bush/

1:27 PM  
Blogger DED said...

I can't watch Bush make speeches, let along the SOTU. I get all worked up and have to fight the urge to throw things at the TV, kinda like 1984 when the leader of the enemy comes on the screen and all the proles yell and scream at him. Instead, I let the talking heads regurgitate it back to me.

Saw Webb's speech though. Impressive! A Dem with balls.

1:48 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Nice post, Kelly. Is B-rox related to Cheese-rox (i.e., to you?).

The blogs looks similar in addition to the names.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Saw Webb's speech though. Impressive! A Dem with balls.

And brains. There were points when I worried he might be showing too much erudition, what with the analogies to Jackson, TR, etc. I mean, I enjoyed it, but I'm a total geek.

I worried that he might get too wonky, but he never did. Helluva speech, IMNSHO.

2:19 PM  
Anonymous waitingforthealiens said...

I’m with ded. It just makes me apoplectic to hear the CNC unite the nation with his unique brand of compassionate conservatism. And to see him on the same screen with that evil lunatic Cheney would have been enough to take me over the edge.

Back to yesterday’s theme, Hillary, whom I had never really noticed enough to dislike, won my You-Are-so-Full-of-Shit award with her eight-minute speech-in-lieu-of-questions routine in Gen. Petraeus’s appearance in the senate. We will have some really meaningful governance with half the senate running for president for the next two years.

2:50 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

the CNC?

We will have some really meaningful governance with half the senate running for president for the next two years.

Until Webb decides to run, and then it'll be 51%.

2:55 PM  
Anonymous waitingforthealiens,butmaybenotmuchlonger said...

commander and chief
or better
chef and concierge

5:03 PM  
Anonymous mort said...

Mort, it's cool if you wanna post under aliases again, but don't use Weas's name!

If I was going to say that incognito my alias would indubitably have been Ben Dover.

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Ben Dover said...

We're screwed.

Hell, I've been screwed so much it doesn't even hurt anymore. Give it to me good, Bushy, I like it like that. ;-)

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Ben Dover

Yes, from the law firm of Dover, Hunt & Mioff. Though -- being a lawyer & all -- I refer to them as Ben, Mike, and Jack.

I've been screwed so much it doesn't even hurt anymore. Give it to me good, Bushy, I like it like that.

We'll be filing that under "TMI" tomorrow morn.

7:59 PM  
Anonymous Kelly said...

Nice post, Kelly. Is B-rox related to Cheese-rox?

Yes, technologically speaking. Editor B, a.k.a. Bart, who blogs at b.rox.com is a college friend of mine and something of an inspiration.

He was my inspiration to start blogging [he now hosts my blog on his rox.com server, which explains the similar address and layout].

He lives in New Orleans, and ever since Katrina, his blog has been extra fascinating.

He even made national news, of late, for scolding Mayor Nagin at a recent January 11 anti-violence rally there.

You could do worse than spend time on B's blog. He's one cool cat.

9:42 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

He even made national news, of late, for scolding Mayor Nagin at a recent January 11 anti-violence rally there

That sounds pretty cool. Any vid clips? Maybe I'll peruse his arhcives, see if he has one.

11:00 PM  
Anonymous kelly said...

Any vid clips?

There are links, at the bottom of this post:

http://b.rox.com/archives/2007/01/11/speech/

(which is the text of his speech), to an audio of Bart Everson's speech at the rally, plus a link to a video of his appearance shortly thereafter an Anderson Cooper.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous kelly said...

And here's a picture:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27358633@N00/354503981/

12:06 PM  

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