Wednesday, April 11, 2007

FO' SHIZZLE

So apparently Snoop Dogg's in big trouble again, this time for marijuana & weapon possession. Whatever.

Maybe I'm just jaded, but I expect Snoop to carry "light" drugs like weed, and maybe a gun or three. And my expectations, our expectations are what matter here, right? Like any celebrity of a certain stature, Snoop's life isn't his own; he belongs to us. And I think it's clear that Americans of all ages, of all colors, of all musical tastes & proclivities want Snoop stoned & strapped at all times. It's not just the man that needs his blunt and his gat. We need Snoop to have them. Priorities, folks!

I'm calling for a dispensation here: Snoop should be immune from all charges related to The Chronic and small, manageable handguns. Let's make it happen.

(If McCain wants to prove his Maverick stance, here's his issue.)

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28 Comments:

Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

finally, a cause i can rally to. or, how 'bout this? every time they bust a rapper for chronic they have to bust a white celeb. bust snoop, you have to bust nicholson. bust ice-t you gotta bust kirsten dunst. bust d.l. you gotta bust bill maher. . .parity folks.

11:12 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Ice-T and Kirsten Dunst. That's a funny coupling, under any circumstances.

Snoop & Jack I can see, though.

11:28 AM  
Anonymous waitingforthealiens said...

I never see Snoop or an advertisement for “Girls Gone Wild” without being reminded of what disastrous career decisions I’ve made in my life.

11:55 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

I'm with you, WFTA (at least I think I'm with you). If Snoop's an example of "what happens to someone who doesn't get an education and try to make something of himself" then I want a mulligan.

On my entire life since turning 18.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Thrillhous said...

This is definitely something Snoop fans and Willie Nelson fans can find common cause on. They should tour together.

12:53 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Yeah. Snoop could've been on Willie's bus.

Plus, I'm not sure if Willie's into gins, but he is from West Texas, so how much of a stretch could it be?

12:56 PM  
Anonymous waitingforthealiens said...

Since I haven’t established a forum of my own, I hope you will forgive me for mounting the soapbox on a completely different subject. I opened the Houston Chronicle this morning to find letters to the editor from four of my fellow Houstonians opining that the reaction to the “Imus ejecta” earlier in the week was a bit over done. My letter in response is copied below. Since I don’t expect it to be published, I wanted to at least be read by Mike’s Loyal Six. In hindsight I don’t see how I avoided using the word “tasteless.”

Reading this morning’s chorus of Don Imus apologists in the Chronicle’s letters section, I am reminded that civil, racial and moral relativism are very much alive and thriving in 2007 in Houston, Texas. We are apparently capable of rationalizing acceptance (if not approval) of a celebrity gleaning his living from the public air waves by referring to a group of college athletes as “nappy-headed ‘hos.”



The arguments boil down to:

It is okay because black rap singers write lyrics that are even more insulting.
It is okay because Al Sharpton, a shameless self-promoter, has taken offense, thereby rendering it non-offensive.
It is okay because black Americans choose to maintain parallel institutions in defense of a culture, a history and an American experience distinctly at odds with the non-black majority.


Neighbors, I am a fifty-one year old white man who came of age in as racist a part of the United States as any and I know this: There is no, none, not one, context wherein this characterization of these young women would be appropriate or excusable. These are not women in the abstract, but real, living, highly motivated and highly achieving scholar athletes with real feelings. I expect their parents have real feeling as well.



I ask anyone who thinks that this kind of remark is defensible if you will be so charitable when someone calls your daughter “whore?”

1:14 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

WFTA -

I agree with you that Imus' comments were awful. Of course! If anyone wrote to the paper defending what he said, then that's pretty lame.

That said, I can understand that some people may want to defend him from charges that he should be fired.

From what little I know of Imus, he probably should be fired for being unfunny & irrelevant. Otherwise, I'm not really seeing the big story here.

I wish Americans would learn to treat grandstanding assholes the way they deserve to be treated: by ignoring them.

2:08 PM  
Blogger Dwilkers said...

You guys are ALL going to end up in rehab with Imus.

2:20 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Oh no. What'd I do this time?

2:35 PM  
Blogger Dwilkers said...

Nothing Mike, just wanted to toss out the rehab line. FWIW I think they should just accept his apology. He seems pretty abjectly sorry to me. Whatever.

Check it out. Look who's exploiting the Imus dust-up.

Hmm. How to put this. Hillary! is trying to make sure she doesn't get out-blacked?

Fuck. Now I'm going to end up in rehab.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

He seems pretty abjectly sorry to me.

I doubt it somehow. I think he's sorry he's an old asshole.

Whatever.

Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

3:02 PM  
Blogger fridge said...

Absolutely. I'm in. Maybe, kind of a special US Knighthood? Bestowed upon national treasures we decide deserve this honor? Sir Snoop?

3:26 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Sir Snoop

Either that or Sir Dogg.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Mort said...

Let's here what Snoop has to say about it.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Marked Hoosier said...

I don't get it, why is Mr. Dogg so popular? I mean really popular... heck I saw Donald Trump talking about "Snoop is a friend of mine" popular.

Dr. Dre is better. :P

5:26 PM  
Blogger Mort said...

hear

5:29 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

That's a great clip, Mort. You know how old it is?

Marked - I'm as "out of it" when it comes to hip-hop as Bill O'Reilly, so I don;t know anything of Snoop's music since he was working with Dre 12 or 13 years ago.

But in general, Snoop just seems cool. He could be a horrible person for all I know. I juts think he's funny. Dre? Not so much.

7:17 PM  
Blogger Mort said...

Snoop suggested O'Reilly perform felatio on the dog. Bwahaha!

7:48 PM  
Blogger Comandante Agí said...

They busted him here in my 'hood last year at John Wayne airport. No one sees the irony in Snoop carrying firearms at an airport named after this nation's greatest movie shoot-em-up cowboy?

10:27 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

There you go. Snoops giving props to the Duke.

Flava Flav said "Motherfuck him and John Wayne," but they never went that road on the West Coast.

11:35 PM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

and, in a final thought, no matter how high the quality of chronic the most dedicated pot head musician might be able to find; the finest, spiciest, best stuff that is so damned fine it never reaches the market will remain to be the legendary

Lawyer Bud

those cuttings go only to defense attorneys. the only way musicians can get ahold of that stuff is to play the lawyer's parties for free.

1:31 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Interesting tidbit there, Minstral.

And based on my recent career moves, I'll pretend I never saw that comment.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Mort said...

And based on my recent career moves, I'll pretend I never saw that comment.

So you're going to work for the PTB? Sellout.

3:52 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

I'll work for you, Mort. How much you paying?

3:55 PM  
Blogger Dwilkers said...

I can't help myself.

Snoop Says Rappers And Imus Are 'Two Separate Things'

In part:

"It's a completely different scenario," said Snoop, barking over the phone from a hotel room in L.A. "[Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We're talking about ho's that's in the 'hood that ain't doing sh--, that's trying to get a n---a for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain't no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC going hard on black girls. We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them mutha----as say we in the same league as him."

I have nothing to add to that.

5:02 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Snoop's making sense here.

I'd like to hear what he has to say about Katie Couric.

5:40 PM  
Blogger Mort said...

I'll work for you, Mort. How much you paying?

I never wanted this for you. I work my whole life--I don't apologize--to take care of my family, and I refused to be a fool, dancing on the string held by all those bigshots. I don't apologize--that's my life--but I thought that, that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the string. Senator Corleone; Governor Corleone.

Michael: Another pezzonovante

Well, there wasn't enough time, Michael. There wasn't enough time.

Michael: We'll get there, pop. We'll get there.

12:55 PM  

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