Friday, June 01, 2007

GEE, THAT'S SURPRISING

Seems that the White House is digging in, doing its damnest (damndest?) to make sure Snarlin' Dick Cheney's visitor records remain secret.

You know what though? I'm in too good a mood on this fine Friday morning to even read the article. Whatever it says, I'll have my usual reaction: that sort of angry-yet-jaded feeling I get whenever I read about Adminstration shenanigans.

And I don't wanna be angry or jaded this morning. I just can't do it. Will someone step in for me? It's easy.

Just get pissed, say a few words of rage ("fuck," "bastards," and some compound word featuring "ass," such as "ass-hat," "ass-clown," or the tried-and-true "jackass" will do), then toss in a little bit of snark to leaven the outrage (sarcasm, know-it-allery, obscure allusions to 17th Century literature, a quotation of Bob Dylan lyrics, or a fat joke), and finally wrap it all up with some sort of bon mot (oh, that reminds me, feel free to use foreign phrase in the "snark section").

And, since every sundae needs its cherry, don't forget a couple witty or extremely self-referential comments in the label box. That's all it takes.

On second thought, I can do the label part:

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8 Comments:

Anonymous Applesaucer said...

Maybe Dick's been meeting with Floyd Gondolli in anticipation of a post-White House career.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Mort said...

Just get pissed, say a few words of rage ("fuck," "bastards," and some compound word featuring "ass," such as "ass-hat," "ass-clown," or the tried-and-true "jackass" will do), then toss in a little bit of snark to leaven the outrage...

That sounds like an invitation to profanity. However, the best curse words are usually made up on the spot. If you ever watch A Christmas Story the dad is a proficient swearer. His best jab? Fuddafinga!

11:42 AM  
Blogger Ed in Westchester said...

Fucking asshat douchebag motherfucking scumsucking dickheads. Those lying dicks need to stop being such complete and utter fucktards.

How's that?

I'm kinda proud of the first sentence. All curses.
I didn't even read the story. That is my canned response.

11:48 AM  
Blogger George said...

My words for buttface Cheney would be the same as Johnson's to Boswell when he said he wanted to write his biography: "Expergiscere et coffeam olface!"

12:44 PM  
Blogger Otto Man said...

Nice work phoning it in.

Here's where I'd make a witty comment.

4:16 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Apple - Solid job on the obscure allusion part. Is "Applesaucer" a guest star in the Brock Landers/Chest Rockwell series?

Fuddafinga!

Sounds nicely obscene.

the first sentence. All curses.

Well done, Ed. Your daughters would be proud.

I think you hit all the required elements, George. But what does the latin mean?

Nice work phoning it in.

Uh-oh, I done been caught.

8:34 AM  
Blogger George said...

Supoposedly it's Latin for "wake up and smell the coffee."

2:12 PM  
Anonymous Kelly said...

Great 'recipe for a political blog post' you've given us there. Funny. Thanks!

11:20 AM  

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