Wednesday, May 17, 2006

LADIES & GENTLEMEN, YOUR FIRST PLACE NEW YORK METS

I missed the end of last night's victory, having gone to bed around 12:30. Not sure when the game ended, but man it must've been late. To put it in perspective, for those who watched, I turned in during the 8th inning of the Mets' '86 Clincher.

That's right, it was a "Mets Classic" Rain Delay last evening, and they busted out a real stinker. A dreary 4-2 game, filled with defensive and baserunning miscues. Sure they "won" the division that night, but everyone knows the division title was a foregone conclusion long before September 17. And Met announcer Steve Zabriskie screwed up the final out anyway with his odd "The Mets win the division, but they really haven't won a damn thing at all" call.

Or whatever it was he said.

That's not to say there weren't a few things worth noting. First of all, as with any "classic" game in any sport from the 70s and 80s, one immediately notes the size of the players. They look like humans! Of the Met starters, including 6'3" Doc, exactly one guy was listed at 200+ pounds: Carter. Mookie, Dykstra, Backman & Santana were all in the 160 lb range. Strawberry, at 6'6", weighed 195 pounds! That's Louie Orr territory. And you think that's nuts, watch a "classic" hockey game some time. Yikes! Safe to say not many fellas sticking needles in their asses before the game back in those days.

I talked here about Ralph Kiner a few weeks ago. The '86 game shows what I meant. He was sharp, and he was smart. When Dykstra led off the game, Ralphie told us his on-base percentage, his walks total, and alluded to Keith Hernandez's league-leading OBP & BB totals, before noting his position among the league batting average leaders. As I mentioned Monday, until well into the 90's, it was harder for a fan to find OBP, BB, CS, 2B & 3B stats in most newspapers than for Kaz Iishi to find the strike zone. And Kiner was giving them on the air 20 years ago! Underrated as a ballplayer; underrated as an announcer.

And that's before we address the fact that he called the Met catcher "Gary Cooper."

And, turning to the players in the game, of course the Mets had Carter & Straw & Doc and all those great players. I'd mention Hernandez too, but as Met fans know, Dave Magadan played that game, delivering the division-winning hit as part of a 3-4 performance. Keith was "under the weather," we were told. I'd believe it if they said "under a broad" or "under the debilitating effects of a massive hangover," but the man delivered, on and off the field, so let's leave him alone.

And the Cubs? In the starting lineup were Sandberg and Palmeiro, with Eck on the mound. That's two Hall of Famers and another guy who would've gone in if he wasn't a steroid user. And a back-stabbing teammate. And a liar. And the product of a grossly-inflated offensive era. But otherwise, he'd be a sure thing! Seriously, though, that's three great players on the squad of a crap team, playing out the string against a juggernaut. Fun to see 20 years later.

And if Raffy was already in his prime, maybe the Mets wouldn't all have weighed 160 pounds. Anyway, on to a few Random Thoughts:

1. Stevie Wonder's Not The Only Sight-Impaired Genius: What is up with LaRussa and the damn shades in the dugout during night games? Is he blind? Blinded by the glare of his own stupendous ego? If he pulls down the brim of his hat does he think he'll look like a professional poker player? How can he possibly take himself seriously at this point?

These are the questions someone needs to ask. And, damn it, if I have to be the man to ask, so be it. Someone get Tony on the phone. Now.

2. A Serious Topic That Must be Addressed: Sorry to lower the mood, but I need to discuss this, and now's as good a time as any. Having gone to bed before the rain-delayed finish of last night's game, I was fortunate enough to miss a sad, sad event first hand. But pretending it didn't happen just won't do.

That's right, folks. Jorge Julio, he of the now world-famous "Jorge Julio Counter," entered yet another game with the Mets holding a lead. And, to make matters worse, apparently grasping the gravity of his new role, he failed once again to give up a homer. Despite the Mets 5 run lead!

Now this alone would cause deep, deep concern (can you hear the furrowing of my brows?), but as we all know, a barrage of long balls is but one part of Big George's charm. As Bogey might have said to a hulking Venezuelan through a shroud of smoke & fog on a North African tarmac: "We'll always have the strikeout."

But, alas, Bogey's dead, Ilsa probably forgot about him the second Laszlo knocked her up, and . . . I can barely fight off the tears . . . Jorge Julio failed to record a strikeout. I have no choice but to retire the Jorge Julio Counter. And that, my friends, is that.

At least until he gives up 3 straight homers and becomes the first major leaguer ever to strike out 5 in one inning of work. Then I'll bring it back in a heartbeat. I'm easy that way, you know?

3. So . . . a New Counter! Ladies and Gents ("Ladies"! Yeah, like any women actually read this nonsense), I present, in a long-awaited debut performance, the "Jose Reyes Walk Comparator." Yeah, I know it's a crappy name, but don't sweat it. What are the odds I'll stick with this one, right? Shhhh.

Through May 16, 2006, Jose Reyes has drawn 16 bases on balls. 16! In 2005, by contrast, Reyes drew his 16th walk sometime in early August. I don't have last season's game-by-game log, but I know that as of the end of July, 2005, Jose had 15 BBs.

And, to end on a serious note, Reyes's 16 BBs are good for a .326 OBP. While hardly a superb number, he's nonetheless on a pace to score 126 runs if he plays 155 games.

Not bad.

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