LADIES & GENTLEMEN, YOUR FIRST PLACE NEW YORK METS

With the Mets compiling a 33-22 record through their first 55 games, it's time for my First Annual One Third of the Season Plus One Recap (and perhaps the last; if they'd played 54 games through last night, I'd write a one third of the season recap, without the bonus game.) The fellas lost a couple tough ones over the weekend, blowing leads in both defeats, sandwiched around the now standard, win-in-the-last-at bat. At this point, in home games, I'm figuring they should just accept the first 24 outs, without contesting them. Then, having saved up energy, go to bat in the bottom of the 9th, ready to rake.

With their .600 winning percentage, the Mets are on pace to go 97-65 this season, on the strength of a stupendous 17-7 record in one-run games. As I've noted here repeatedly, you can't assume a continuation of that success. Over 24 games, you have to figure on a 12-12 record; thus, the Mets have gained 5 wins through one-run tilts. But, I decided to look closer at the Mets, Phils and Braves to see how it all stands.

On one hand, the Mets' 17-7 record in one-run situations dwarfs the 7-11 and 10-14 totals the Phils & Braves compiled in the same scenarios. This means that in games not decided by a run or less (I know that's nonsensical, but I felt like saying it; it lends a certain mathematical gravitas that I like), the Phils are 22-16, the Braves 18-15, and the Mets only 16-15. This causes me some concern, I'll admit. But otherwise, it all looks pretty good:

The Mets have outscored their opponents by 30 runs, projecting to an expected 30.5-24.5 record (if we can discuss games "decided by a run or less," why the hell not use half wins, right?). Braves? +5 for an expected 29-28 record. Phils? -2; 28-28. The Mets have exceeded expectations by 2 1/2 games, which is a lot for a third of a season, but with the Braves only one under and the Phils actually one over, the difference is insignificant. Finally -- and this, to me, is the greatest cause of optimism -- if all three teams played the rest of the season at their Pythagorian percentages, the Mets would finish at 92-70, leaving both the 82-80 Phils and 81-81 Braves in the dust.

The Mets might not be quite as good as their 33-22 record looks. This is true. But neither the Braves not the Phils look very good at all, so a divisional crown looks likely if the Mets stay healthy (or in terms of their pitching staff, stay relatively but not grossly unhealthy). That being said, like all Met fans, I assume the Braves will go 76-30 the rest of the way, behind 14 rookies, John Smoltz's 4th career comeback, and a trading deadline move for some bum like Ismael Valdez or Chan Ho Park who'll then go 12-0 for them. What can I say, I'm scarred. You're not? You doubt this happening? I can't talk about it anymore.

Now, if I may, on to a brief rundown of some of the players who've created the stellar record. I'm not gonna do the usual "Report Card" thing. No, no, no. Everyone does it, and the grades always end up inflated anyhow. No. In fact, I'm not even gonna talk about all the players. Why? I don't want to. I'll talk about a few of the guys, put their performance in perspective, go for cheap laughs, and maybe even engage in the other ridiculous thing that everyone does in these recaps: project season numbers. I will. I can't resist.

David Wright: What can you say? At 330/402/571, he's been the Mets' best player, supplying clutch hits, overcoming gruesome fielding gaffes, and demonstrating a preternatural mastery of the cliche. He's on pace for 207 hits, 50 2Bs, 30 HRs, 77 BBs, 100 R, 112 RBI and 14 successful deliveries of back page-worthy quotations, in 625 ABs over 159 games. In case anyone's forgotten, he's 23.

And someone tell me that with his Popeye forearms, amazing bat control, and smooth swing he doesn't make you think, just a bit, about Edgar Martinez? That's right, I said it. He hasn't quite demonstrated Edgar's amazing strike zone control, but he seems to have more pop. Not to mention, Edgar was still languishing in the minors when he was 23.

And, Wright has That Thing. That inexplicable, but uncanny, sense of how & when to grab the moment, to turn events by himself. For example, even though the Mets lost yesterday, Wright's hitting helped keep them in the game. I wrote down the following, at 3:36 PM, just before the Mets' turn at bat after blowing the lead in the 8th: "This is, without further explanation needed, a 'What Would Derek Do?' Moment. Let's see how young David responds to the call."

And what did young David do as he led off the bottom of the 8th? He went deep, tying the game. Barring severe injury, he joins Seaver some day as one of the two greatest Mets ever.

Or he doesn't. Either way, I can't be wrong. And if you haven't caught on yet, he's 23.

Pedro: 5-1, 2.50 ERA. 0.81 WHIP. Just a ridiculous series of numbers. I'm not sure how he does it. He rarely tops 90, yet he's nearly unhittable, giving up a .167 BA. Assuming he comes back to earth a bit, as he did last year, he's still on pace for a fantatsic season. As is . . .

Tommy Strike Zone: 8-2, 2.59, 110. Amazingly, he's struck out 63 in 80 IP. His success is not an illusion. With the lofty K rate and nearly 3:1 K/BB ratio, he's really been pitching as well as his ERA demonstrates. He's 40 years-old( which is 17 years older than . . . oh, enough already, you get the idea), but if he stays healthy, he should continue to win with this Met lineup behind him.

Of course, that's all she wrote in terms of the Met starters. For ease of comparison, the 8 remaining clowns who've started this year ( a rogue's gallery worth of names: Brian Bannister, Steve Trachsel, El Duque, Victor Zambrano, John Maine, Alay Soler, Jeremi Gonzalez & Jose Lima) have started 32 times, about a season's worth. And the damage? Oh my: a 6-12 record on a 5.62 ERA, behind 166.2 IP, 186 H, 24 HR, 80 BB, 105 K. That's a 1.60 WHIP!

This disaster has been much-discussed, so best just to move on.

Jose Reyes: With his 248/312/402 numbers, it's clear that despite the low batting average, he's walking more and hitting for more power. Regardless of the average, he's on pace to put up some truly extraordinary numbers, starting with 726 at-bats, which would shatter Ichiro's record set two years ago. Since Reyes would tally only 180 hits, he'd also destroy Horace Clarke's 36 year-old record of 514 batting outs in a season, by recording 546.

All those outs notwithstanding, Jose projects to 27 doubles, 21 triples, 15 homers, 65 walks, 68 stolen bases . . . and 124 runs, plus 84 RBIs from the lead-off spot. He'll also be 23 next week. I think we're good here.

The Beltranator: 265/383/584 with 34 R & 37 RBI in only 45 games. His legs seem as fragile as Barbaro's, but he's been great when he plays.

Lastings Milledge: Yeah, I know he's only been up for a few days, and I know that his Cal Ripken Victory Lap routine was ludicrous, but I know you won't begrudge me the chance to type: "Milledge Goes Deep with Two Strikes and Two Outs off Armando Benitez."

Admit it, you enjoyed that too.

Endy Chavez: Regardless of his hitting, which while not great has been better-than-expected, his fielding's been spectacular. When we get the Beltran, Milledge, Chavez outfield, not many balls are gonna fall in (except those that fall in front of Beltran, who by standing in the parking lot, plays deeper than even Lenny Dykstra used to. But why nitpick, right?). Chavez may be the best of the bunch. And, in the "What The Hell Do I Do With This Info?" Stat of the Day, Chavez recorded three outfield assists yesterday, giving him six for the season.

I told you I didn't know what to do with that stat. What do you want from me?

Duaner Sanchez: He was boo'd yesterday, after failing to hold the lead with a little help from Reyes. I bet he didn't even know the Mets traded him to the Phillies.

Jose "Super-Stache" Valentin-o: He's not 23. But with his miraculous resurrection now complete, he's well on the way to elevation to Sainthood. After batting 5th yesterday, it's only a matter of time until he hits clean-up and marries Willie's daughter. That said, Willie asking him to bunt yesterday in the 6th inning with guys on 1st & 2nd and no one out was . . . curious.

And with that W3M addressed, I can now move to a brief (I promise) edition of Random Thoughts before freeing you from the shackles of my rambling brain.

Ah-eh-ee-oh-oo: A war is underway, and it's annoying the hell out me. Yes, that's right, on television, the announcers are engaging in the "Proper Spanish Pronounciation vs. the Standard Anglicized Version" Battle, aka, "Dorks Acting Pretentiously." It's one thing to call a guy named Jose, "Josie," or fellow called Juan, "Joo-ahn." But must every Sanchez now be known as "Sahn-chez"? While Howie Rose maintains the time-honored destruction of every Spanish name, Gary Cohen and even Thom Brenneman (who I despise anyway) call our centerfielder, "Carlos Bell-trahn," and refer to El Duque as "Or-lahndo Ernandez."

Now don't get me wrong, it's probably better to get the names right. But when they're only doing it for a handful of Latin players, it strikes me a just good ole' posing. When they start calling our bench-riding second baseman "KAZ-woe MAT-swee," as I'm sure it's pronounced in his native Japanese, then they can continue this latest silliness.

Keith Hernandez, Forever The Met Captain: Finally, while we're on this announcer tip, I bring him up because he, too, questioned the bizarre decision to bunt with Valentino, though he played the good company man and made nice with Willie (plus, on the Latinized pronunciation thing, he was called "Mex," even though he's an American of Spanish decent. Nor was his name ever pronounced "Kay-eeth"). Actually, who am I kidding. I don't need an excuse to rap about Kap'n Keith. He's officially a Running Gag:

1. One of Keith's favorite obsessions continues unabated, as he described both a split-fingered fastball and a curveball as pitches that "tumble." Sooner or later, you know we're getting a "tumbling" fastball. I have no idea how it's possible, but it's coming. The Man Will Find A Way.

2. They Say The Neon Lights Are Bright . . . And, one doesn't hit .300, win an MVP & 11 consecutive Gold Gloves, and appear on America's number one sitcom by sitting still. No sir. Keith pushes the envelope, strives to better himself, works hard to keep on keeping on.

Or something like that.

So, it goes without saying that Hernandez continues to develope new obessions for our entertainment. The latest has been brewing all season & is ready to open to rave reviews: Broadway. That's right. Not the famous locale of New York's theater scene, nor the nickname of one of Keith's predecessors as "Partying & Scoring New York Superstar." No, no, no. We're talking about the location of fat pitches.

At least 15 times a game, when watching the replay of a pitch from "an exceptional angle," Keith tells us that the pitch was "right down Broadway." And of course, he'll then imply that he would have mashed it, and he can't understand why today's hitters miss so many pitches "right down Broadway."

3. It's not quite an obsession yet (though it's getting there), but Keith doesn't seem to understand that hitting charts may show a pull hitter on ground balls going the other way on flyballs. His continued bewilderment regarding the infield shift against Delgado, while managers continue to play the outfield straight-away, is . . . well, bewildering. I don't think Cohen or Howie Rose understand what's so confusing either. Rose basically ignored Keith when he went on this standard rant yesterday.

4. As the game went into extra innings, Keith said he was glad he "asked Robin King to walk my dog, Duncan, at 6:00."

I don't have anything to add to that.

5. And . . . in perhaps my favorite line of the night, after the young lad wearing a Met t-shirt retrieved a foul ball down by the stands, Keith asked Howie Rose, "What do they call those guys down the line?"

Rose answered, deadpan, "Ball Boys."