NEWSPAPER PRINTS ITSELF; ABSOLVES SELF OF ANY RESPONSIBILITY

In a slight variation on a common theme (or to get real bloggy on you, a common "Meme"), here we have today's Ridiculously Anthropomorphic Yahoo! News Headline of the Day (courtesy of the "A.P. Business Writer):

Stocks Wander As Inflation Fears Linger

Wandering Equities. Lingering Anxieties. Fears of inflation, as opposed to inflation, itself. Welcome to modern day news reporting, aka, Journalism, where no one actually does anything. No, in the world of journalism, things just happen. Concepts take on life and float freely through the world influencing and affecting what they touch.

But nowhere will you find an actor. Even the lead sentence continues this responsibility-absolving, passive-voice tap dance: "Wall Street meandered in nervous trading Monday as inflation fears kept investors on edge following hefty losses last week, the worst so far in 2006."

A thoroughfare meanders. Investors "kept on edge" by the spector of "inflation fears. "Hefty losses" last week apparently leading today's meandering thoroughfaress, wandering equities, and lingering fears, like the Pied Piper leading the children of Hamelin to their fate.

The headline & lead are really saying, of course, "Nervous investors are selling their broader market shares, based on well-founded anxiety over today's inflationary environment." But that sentence contains clear cause-and-effect, shows the direct result of positive acts by sentient actors.

Journalism does it differently. Journalism just reports what happens. Subjectivity, even to the degree of demonstrating how or why something occurred is apparently superfluous, and beyond the call of duty.

The press in America is complicit in hoodwinking the public. As to why they're doing this, that's a topic for another post. But they're responsible. Or, absolving themselves of responsibility, as they'd say: "Americans Puzzled By Vague News Stories Blown By The Wind; Feeling Hoodwinked But Don't Know Why"