Friday, July 14, 2006

THE EVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED

Intelligent Design "scientists" and scholars are furiously devising responses to recent revelations that Darwin's famous Galapagos finches are once again evolving.

"God is obviously testing us, but we'll prove that it's consistent with our theory," said noted Intelligent Design Expert Gregory Jasper, 43, from Bob Jones University in Greenville, South Carolina. "The smug scientists who mock us don't realize that we, too, have our own so-called Scientific Method. But ours was developed by God, himself, and it adds the element of Faith. Observation, Inference, Hypothesis, Testing, Faith."

Saarhoos Venderssen and Pradrithran Sihmdharm, 32 & 51, who shared the Nobel Prize for Biology in 1999 for their research into evolution, declined to address Jasper's methodology. "This is not science," said Sihmdharm, waving his hand disdainfully. "This is hoodoo."

"It's woodoo, too," Venderssen added, before Sihmdharm corrected him, explaining that the correct pronunciation is "voodoo."

When questioned, God, 4,324,861,543, of Heaven, tried to disassociate himself from the Intelligent Designers: "I don't know why these wack-jobs keep invoking my name when they spout forth with their crackpot theories," a clearly weary Eternal Father told us, swigging a cold beer while reclining with three rather fetching female angels on a throne of clouds. "Evolution, and all natural phenomena in fact, have nothing to do with me. I just wanna chill up here, with the other souls. What goes on down on Earth is none of my business. Those birds are doing whatever it is they're doing on their own. I couldn't give a damn about them. And, believe me, I can give a damn if I want to."

3 Comments:

Anonymous Gary said...

I wonder why is it so hard to imagine that the intelligent design of a diety could be the driving force behind evolution????
Evolution by an intelligently designed process! Started and turned loose to do it's thing.

I think both sideds have part of the argument right, and just need to shake hands and get on with life! IMO
Gary

1:32 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Isn't that what God said in his quotation?

2:51 PM  
Blogger auntiegrav said...

I'd rather believe things I can see than things I cannot see. Just looking at the evidence of evolution, it extrapolates back to zero, or the next best thing. Even allowing for the 'next best thing' to be God, that doesn't give Him a whole lot of credit, now, does it? Might want to think about God sending the meteorite that slammed the acids together and started it all, instead. Then, you have something solid to believe in again: space rocks and aliens.

5:27 PM  

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