ZIDANE NOT THE ONLY ONE TO HEAD BUTT IN EUROPE THIS WEEKEND

According to A.P., "a Spanish man" was gored over the weekend during Pamplona's famous "Running Of The Bulls" festival. Spanish authorities are reportedly perplexed by the development.

"This is very strange," Miguel de Roca told us from his desk in Pamplona's City Hall. "I have been a municipal official here for 23 years, and I've never known the bulls to gore anyone but Americans. Normally, only drunk college students and fat, middle-age men trying to be like Billy Crystal get hurt here."

Witnesses claim that the bull, named El Rey, passed at least four Amercans lagging at the end of the crowd, seeming to pick a Spaniard out of the crowd.

"It's terrible," Maria Urrutia of Pamplona told us. "We've always assumed the presence of slow Americans without a real understanding of the festival will protect our men from the bulls' horns. But now? Who knows what the future will bring? Everything has changed."

El Rey was non-contrite when questioned about the incident: "These people run in the street. They taunt us. What do they expect? The Spanish people always think we bulls have some affinity to them. That we identify as Spanish bulls or something. Are they crazy? Their national sport involves stabbing us with doped spears in a hot ring, as the crowd cheers. Then they kill us. They think this will make us like them?"