LAY'D TO REST
It must be the holiday season. Or maybe it's just those long days.
Hell, maybe it's just luck.
But whatever the reason, Ladies & Gentlemen, I'm happy to present to you, after a too-long absence, the glorious & long-awaited . . . New York Post Headline of the Day. Beneath pictures of both a coffin and the recently convicted, sentenced, and now deceased, Ken Lay, the Post Headline reads:
The Post, baby. Populism trumps Bush & Friends, Inc. every day of the week.
Now I'm not gonna weigh in, as others have, on whether or not Lay's really dead. Maybe Ken's sipping a rum punch on the beach of Vanatu or one of those other island nations where he used to dump his earnings to avoid taxes. Maybe he's deader than the proverbial doornail (anyone know what a doornail is, by the way?). Maybe he took his own life. Who knows . . . and who really cares?
But I think we're going to be hearing tales of Kenny Boy hangin' out in the produce section with Elvis, lurking the streets of Paris with Jim Morrison, wandering the Andean highlands with Hitler, and breaking up scoring plays from the Giant's Stadium endzone with Jimmy Hoffa for years and years to come.
Hell, maybe it's just luck.
But whatever the reason, Ladies & Gentlemen, I'm happy to present to you, after a too-long absence, the glorious & long-awaited . . . New York Post Headline of the Day. Beneath pictures of both a coffin and the recently convicted, sentenced, and now deceased, Ken Lay, the Post Headline reads:
Before They Put Cheato Lay's Coffin In The Grave . . . CHECK HE'S IN IT
The Post, baby. Populism trumps Bush & Friends, Inc. every day of the week.
Now I'm not gonna weigh in, as others have, on whether or not Lay's really dead. Maybe Ken's sipping a rum punch on the beach of Vanatu or one of those other island nations where he used to dump his earnings to avoid taxes. Maybe he's deader than the proverbial doornail (anyone know what a doornail is, by the way?). Maybe he took his own life. Who knows . . . and who really cares?
But I think we're going to be hearing tales of Kenny Boy hangin' out in the produce section with Elvis, lurking the streets of Paris with Jim Morrison, wandering the Andean highlands with Hitler, and breaking up scoring plays from the Giant's Stadium endzone with Jimmy Hoffa for years and years to come.
posted by Mike at 9:14 AM
4 Comments:
Yeah, not to tarnish a man's passing, but I'm going to need to see a DNA sample and fingerprints from the corpse before we call this one off.
And if he is dead for real, we need to verify Ceheny's whereabouts on the evening in question.
Well, when the FBI's done wasting tax dollars searching in Michigan farmhouses for Hoffa's remains, they can turn to Lay, and look for gunpowder under Buckshot Dick's fingernails.
If Ken Lay was a 5'3" Asian woman, then he matches the coroner's report. :)
I think a doornail is a nail hammered in, and bent sideways to keep a door shut. You turn the doornail to release the door...
The upgrade is a piece of wood hammered in with one nail, to turn to block the door closed. That's called a Doorwood and is a close relation to the husband on Bewitched.
Since you're a lawyer Mike, or at least play one in this blog, can you explain to me while convictions are automatically overturned when someone dies? Do guys who die in prison get their convictions overturned?
And the appeals process just boggles my mind. I understand the whole intent to make sure that one's trial was fair and that's reasonable to me. But it seems like one can appeal endlessly, which doesn't make sense to me.
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