SOMETIMES A RIDING CROP JUST DOESN'T CUT IT

From the "Ever Wonder Which One's The Human And Which Is The Animal" Files, AP Sports reports that British jockey Paul O'Neill apologized for -- and no I'm not making this up -- head-butting his horse, City Affair.

Claims by an Appaloosan lip-reader that the horse called O'Neill "a short, funny-looking bastard" and "an IRA terrorist" have not been confirmed. Nonetheless, anonymous sources have told us that City Affair bragged to O'Neill that he "was hung like a horse," followed by graphic descriptions of how he'd use his endowment on the jockey's "mother and sister."

Despite these hijinks, O'Neill was awarded "Jockey of the Race" honors.