Wednesday, August 09, 2006


According to an "A.P. Business Writer," the southern Indian state of Kerala has banned the sale of both Coke & Pepsi, due to concerns of high pesticide levels in the soft-drinks.

According to White House Press Secretary, Tony Snow, President Bush will address the nation later this morning to outline plans for the invasion of Kerala. Snow read the following prepared statement:
The President has assured me that we will not permit this aggressive stance against the American way of life. Coke & Pepsi are America, and that's not negotiable. This is a clear indicator that The Terrorists have extended their evil reach, and now control large pockets of the Indian subcontinent. War is the only solution. Democracy's on the march, liberation is coming. The choice of Coke vs. Pepsi is the very essence of freedom, and as the light of the world, it's our solemn duty to bring that freedom to democracy-loving Indians who've had their soft drinks taken from them. From Brahmin to Untouchable, we'll deliver freedom, and we'll deliver cola. Oil's not the only dark liquid worth fighting for. God Bless freedom, God bless Coke & Pepsi, and God Bless America.
Asked if Al Qaeda was behind the boycott, Osama bin Laden said only, "I piss in your Coke and I spit in your Pepsi, praise be Allah. Damn Americans."


Blogger Ed in Westchester said...

Maybe C&C cola. Not sure if you know it, used to come in lots of flavors, in mixed cases even.

9:39 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

C&C! Of course I remember. They had those commercials where they bleeped out the words, "Coke & Pepsi," right?

10:18 AM  
Blogger Otto Man said...

Pffft. Nobody likes RC Cola.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Thrillhous said...

Gimme a Ginnessy Cream Ale anytime. That's a soda, right?

1:01 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Ohhhh, boy. Picnics from years gone by, courtesy of the LLPON boys.

True, Otto, no one likes RC. Nasty crap. But it was the default soda at every school picnic or town carnival I went to from 1974-1980. I grew up thinking Coke & Pepsi were forbidden at picnics.

Genny Cream was among the fine assortment of . . . let's say, slightly-below-cost beers we imbibed at college.

Genny Cream (too many jokes on "Cream" to go into here), The Beast, Old Swill, Piels, Matt's beerballs (an exclusivley upstate NY state thing, I'm guessing), Black Label (what'd we call that? Black Death? Black Plague?), Mister Chow, Schmidts, Shaeffer.

Compared to that collection of battery acid, warm spit, & "other" fluids, I guess Genny Cream was on par with sweet soda.

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What took them so long to get mad? The corporations have been poisoning them for years.

3:36 PM  
Blogger DED said...

Beer balls!

Isn't that some kind of medical condition?

But seriously, yeah, we had those up in Syracuse. You can get quite a few people tanked on one of those.

5:21 PM  
Blogger Ed in Westchester said...

Genny Cream Ale! I remember the commericals in Albany. "Boy, could I go for a Genne now".

Couple of others from back in the day
Old Milwaukee - Old Mud

Rheingold - my grandad used to drink it.

Pabst Blue Ribbon - ditto. Grandad liked his beer.

Coors Extra Gold - ugh.

Some of yours:
Meister Brau, from Master brewers who are now too old to remember how to brew a good beer.
Piels - there was a store in Albany that sold Piels Draft style Long Necks for $5 a case. Stuff was vile, but cheap as hell.

4:38 PM  
Blogger Ed in Westchester said...

And yes, they did bleep out Coke and Pepsi.

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

We used to get cases of Piels (cans) for $4.95.

You overpaid, Ed!

And I never thought Piels was all that bad. Just watery. Piels & The Beast were my two super cheap beers of choice because they sucked, but were unoffensive.

Whereas Black Label, Meister Brau & Milwaukee's Best were truly heinous beverages. Just awful.

But that's one man's opinion. And as someone who now loves great beer, I can't believe I drank that shit.

4:51 PM  

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