LOSING IS WINNING: TRUE OF WAR & ELECTIONS

In advance of a speech Bush will give later today, the White House has used our tax dollars to publish its new "National Strategy For Combating Terrorism." Any resemblence to shameless electioneering as the midterm elections approach is completely coincidental.

A few highlights, if I may, separated by category:

Category 1 -- You are in Grave Danger. Extraordinarily Grave Danger. Only the Administration & its Partners in Congress can save your endangered ass:

"The war on terror will be a long war."

"America is safer but we are not yet safe."

"There will continue to be challenges ahead, but along with our partners, we will attack terrorism and its ideology and bring hope and freedom to the people of the world."

"This is how we will win the war on terror."

"While we have substantially improved our air, land, sea and border security, our Homeland is not immune from attack."

"While the United States government and its partners have thwarted many attacks, we have not been able to prevent them all. Terrorists have struck in many places throughout the world, from Bali to Beslan to Baghdad."

That last one's rather melodic, actually. Has a showtune ring to it: TER-rorists have struck/in maaaaany places/through-OUT the world/from Bali to Beslan to Badgad/yeah!

Category 2 -- Al Qaida is the Enemy . . . sort of. The True Enemy is whoever we say it is:

"The United States and our partners continue to pursue a significantly degraded but still dangerous al-Qaida network."

"Terrorist networks today are more dispersed and less centralized. They are more reliant on smaller cells inspired by a common ideology and less directed by a central command structure."

"We have deprived al-Qaida of safe haven in Afghanistan and helped a democratic government rise in its place."

"Yet the enemy we face today in the war on terror is not the same enemy we faced on Sept. 11. Our effective counterterrorist efforts in part have forced the terrorists to evolve and modify their ways of doing business."

"Ways of doing business." Yeah, I saw that too. Nope, not sure what it means exactly. But coming from our business-friendly Administration, it sure does sound funny.

Category 3 -- We have no fucking idea what's going on in Iraq. It's a total mess. But trust us, because as we said in Category 1, "Only the Administration & its Partners in Congress can save your endangered ass":

"A multinational coalition joined by the Iraqis is aggressively prosecuting the war against the terrorists in Iraq."

"The ongoing fight for freedom in Iraq has been twisted by terrorist propaganda as a rallying cry."

"[Terrorism] is not simply a result of hostility to U.S. policy in Iraq."

"The United States was attacked on September 11 and many years earlier, well before we toppled the Saddam Hussein regime. Moreover, countries that did not participate in coalition efforts in Iraq have not been spared from terror attacks."

I think we could alternately name Category 3, "Really Outlandish Propaganda Statements."

* * *

The Democrats responded to the Adminstration's salvo by declaring that, "Years of failed Republican policies have made America less safe and less able to effectively fight terrorism, and Democrats are ready to take this country in a new direction."

We're ready, fellas. We Are Ready. Any . . . uhhhh, specifics? Any precise critiques of GOP policies? C'mon, clock's ticking.

Finally, according to AP, Tony Snow addressed questions regarding calls to replace Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld by announcing "It's not going to happen. Creating Don Rumsfeld as a bogeyman may make for good politics but would make for very lousy strategy at this time."

"'Bogeymen,' 'Good Politics,' & 'Lousy Strategy.'" Sounds like a six word summation of the last 5 years.