THE HOTTEST BALLS AROUND
Jared W. Anderson, 20, suffered serious burns to his hands and genitals . . . Randell D. Peterson, 43, who sprayed lighter fluid on Anderson and lit him on fire, was charged with felony battery and first-degree reckless endangerment . . . Anderson pulled down his pants and let Peterson spray him with lighter fluid. When the fire didn't catch, Peterson sprayed more lighter fluid on Anderson, splashing some on his clothing. He tried again to light the fire, catching Anderson's genitals, hands and clothes. Anderson ran into the bathroom, jumped into the tub and put the flames out.Whoa. In my opinion, this beats driving 900 miles while wearing a diaper to question the new girlfriend of the man you've been stalking. It's close. But this one takes the lead.
All idiocy ignored, I need to ask why the lighter-sprayer guy was charged with a criminal count. I get no sense that the dude whose balls were burned was an involuntary participant in this foolishness.
(And this gives me the perfect opportunity to drop a reference to a story that needs to be told: maybe his balls would've escaped unharmed if only Greg Maddux was there to piss on him. H/T to Metstradamus for that one. Read the link; it'll make sense.)