Thursday, March 22, 2007

OH MY

Not sure where it ranks on The "Holy shit, that's fucked up" Scale, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Necrophilia combined with Bestiality is pretty high up:
A 20-year-old man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer . . . . He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it.
Whoa, Nelly.

Incidentally, call me a loon, but I don't think the dude should be convicted of anything for what he did to the deer. If the poor brute was already dead, what's the difference what this screwed-up disaster did with it.

Now as for killing a horse so he could get jiggy with the corpse, that's another matter.

And now if you'll excuse me, I need to take a 3 week-long shower.

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24 Comments:

Anonymous John Royal said...

I need to shower, and all I did was to read this damn thing.

10:40 AM  
Blogger DED said...

eeeeewwwwwwwww!

10:52 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Bwahahahahahahahah!!!

11:01 AM  
Anonymous Kelly said...

Notice where this occurred. Wisconsin. Yep. My state does me proud in the news. Again!

11:02 AM  
Blogger Mort said...

He was going to go to a deer prostitute, but he didn't have the dough. Breeheehee!

11:28 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Kelly -

Indeed, you are correct. Just consider me your personal News Reader for all things Cheesehead and Fucked-in-the-Head.

Mort -

Not bad, but after the "A Fredo" line the other day, it's gonna be hard for you to wow me.

11:31 AM  
Blogger Mort said...

Okay Mike, here's one. A bear hunter shot a bear. Then he started having sex with it. Another hunter walks up and sees him. The first guy sez, you aren't going to tell anyone, right? The second guy says, does this mean I get to screw the bear too?

11:59 AM  
Blogger Mort said...

This guy goes hunting in the wilderness and shoots a moose. The moose walks over and says, "did you shoot me?" Then he bends the guy over and has sex with him. Later in the day the hunter shoots a big deer, same thing happens. In the afternoon the hunter shoots a big grizzly bear. The grizzly bear walks over and says, "You're not here for the hunting, are you?"

12:25 PM  
Blogger George said...

Mort's here all week....

12:46 PM  
Blogger Mort said...

Two hunters were drinking beer and the first hunter's dog sat down and started licking himself. The second hunter observed this and said, "I wish I could do that". The first hunter said, "go over there and be nice to him, maybe he'll let you".

1:11 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Mort's here all week....

Do I hear "all month"?

But, this is about what I deserve for posting on bestiality & necrophilia.

How far can sick hunting humor be when you bring dead deer-fucking into your forum?

Carry-on, Mort. It's your stage.

1:17 PM  
Blogger Mort said...

[link]

1:53 PM  
Blogger maurinsky said...

I'm not going to click that link. I have reached my daily quota of bestialo-necrophiliac humor for the day.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Mort said...

Dick Cheney hunting game.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

To paraphrase Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Outstanding, Private Mort, I think we've finally found something that you do well.

Maurinsky -

Believe it or not, Mort's link is the tamest thing he's given us all day.

(Though it still indicates an odd hunting-sex nexus. An Oklahoma thing, perhaps?)

5:14 PM  
Blogger Mort said...

The hunting-sex nexus is, I'm ashamed to say, passed down through the generations. Ever since Esau came home empty handed hunters have been the butt of jokes, often inflicted upon them by comrades in the field. I try not to hyperlink hyper-offensive links, that's dirty pool.

6:07 PM  
Blogger Dwilkers said...

What...you guys never had sex with any freshly killed game?

Buncha n00bs.

7:39 PM  
Blogger Dwilkers said...

whee...heh.

Mort has tears all over my face. I love the ""You're not here for the hunting, are you?". Classic.

7:42 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

n00b?

8:08 PM  
Blogger DWPittelli said...

Excuse me, but as well as being in poor taste, this is all horribly misguided. Every hunter knows that it's better if you mortally wound the animal, and then do them during their death throws.

8:34 AM  
Blogger Dwilkers said...

I don't know why they gave the guy probation. Clearly he needs to go to rehab.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

better if you mortally wound the animal, and then do them during their death throws.

Extra kicks -- physically & otherwise -- from the writhing & struggling.

(Man, what a bunch of sick fucks commenting here -- I LOVE it!)

Dwilk - Still no help on "n00b"?

9:56 AM  
Blogger Dwilkers said...

Sorry Mike, thought you were making a joke that was sailing over my head.

N00b is short for Newbie.

I believe it started as an online gaming put down to new guys. Variations include n00b, which I've always been fond of since the double zeros act as a sort of extra put down = "you're an especially double zero loser newbie".

All in jest of course.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Ahhhh. I know what noobie is.

But that whole l33t thing throws me.

9:33 AM  

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