Tuesday, August 14, 2007

TRUTH IN ADVERTISING (AKA IF YOU CALL 911 FOR DRUG-BUYIN' SATISFACTION, YOU WILL BE ARRESTED)

From the "Hmmm, I Bet That's Not How She Thought It Was Gonna All Play Out" Files, we learn from AP that "a woman was arrested after she called police to help 'get her money back' after she was unhappy with the crack cocaine she purchased."

(Come to think of it, let's remove the word "thought" from the file name.)

But in her defense, when you can't trust a crack dealer anymore, you just have to ask yourself what this world is coming to. What's happening to our country?!

Back when I was a boy, the local crack dealer was part of the social fabric, a respected member of the community. Along with lemonade stands and white picket fences, a friendly crack dealer who cared about the well-being of his neighbors made us all feel safe and at home. Why, when a mother was in the midst of a teeth-grinding, strung-out rock-jonesin' session, she knew the crack dealer could take the kids to church, and get 'em home in time for dinner.

No wonder this lady called the cops. Her own liberty was but a small sacrifice to bring this to everyone's attention.

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15 Comments:

Anonymous wfta said...

You know how it is. Some days you eat the bear and some days the bear eats you. When you're poor and addicted justice can be hard to find.

11:48 AM  
Anonymous wfta said...

You know how it is. Some days you eat the bear and some days the bear eats you. When you're poor and addicted justice can be hard to find.


That's why nobody wants to be first to comment.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Rickey Henderson said...

She should have filed a complaint with the Better Business Buearu instead.

4:28 PM  
Blogger Edgar said...

We had a guy here call the cops to say that someone broke into his house and stole his pot. They searched the place and found enough that didn't get stolen to arrest him. What a maroon!

8:07 PM  
Blogger Smitty said...

She should have filed a complaint with the Better Business Buearu instead.

HA! HA HA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

10:31 PM  
Blogger Comandante AgĂ­ said...

When my crack dealer short changes me I call my cousin Guido. A couple strikes to the knees usually sets them straight.

10:34 PM  
Blogger Dwilkers said...

Welp, I didn't predict this one quite right but I got close.

Nowak to use insanity defense in assault case

"Former astronaut Lisa Nowak is pursuing a temporary insanity defense...Nowak suffered from major depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, insomnia and "brief psychotic disorder with marked stressors," defense attorney Donald Lykkebak wrote...Lykkebak wrote that two Texas psychiatrists would testify that Nowak was legally insane at the time of the alleged attack.

OK, I said we'd hear she was off her meds. Doesn't this qualify me for 1/2 credit or something?

2:27 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

I'll give you full credit, Dwilkers.

That's how I operate.

8:06 AM  
Anonymous the frogster said...

Yet another lesson about how important it is to network in your given profession. Once you've found a reputable crack dealer, it's important to remember that individual with a birthday card or a fruit basket around the holidays.

1:46 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Good point, Frogster.

And don't forget that September 19 is Crackdealer's Day. Remember to send a bouquet.

9:48 AM  
Blogger Edgar said...

hey dwilkers, don't they screen those astronauts for mental instability or something? Sheesh!

9:23 AM  
Blogger Dwilkers said...

Apparently not.

A better story IMO has been the recent report that they were getting drunk right before suiting up and hopping on the ol' Roman Candle.

There have been a few strenuous objections to that published in the Chron down here from folks saying it didn't happen, and NASA says they can't find any evidence of that happening.

Of course, its kinda hard to find evidence that someone was drinking a few years ago. And they do admit that alcohol is available to Astronauts in their quarters (um...why?).

Anyway, back to Nowak, as a former active duty Marine what still floors me about that is her rank as a Navy captain. It is just astonishing to me that a Navy O-6 did this. We're talking about a person *above* the rank necessary to literally have the keys to nuclear weapons in the Navy.

Whatever.

7:53 AM  
Blogger Dwilkers said...

Hey isn't LoDuca a free agent this year, and if so do you guys think the Mets are going to re-sign him, and if THAT's so then what's a decent guess on what his contract will look like?

9:39 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

I hope they don't re-sign him, unless he accepts a substantial pay cut.

In the latter event, why not? But if he wants big bucks, let him walk. 36 year-old catchers with declining defensive skills and no power aren't worth that much.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Edgar said...

Mebe they should make the astronauts touch their noses before blastoff. If they forget to raise the face shield then you know that they are shnockered.

3:57 PM  

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