Monday, June 23, 2008

SHIT, PISS, FUCK, CUNT, COCKSUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER, TITS

Comedy legend George Carlin died last night, and I couldn't think of a more appropriate way to honor, eulogize, and remember one of the men who paved the way for the self-indulgent crap I engage in on this blog than to just come out and title this post with his famous Seven Dirty Words.

(I mean paved the way in terms of saying whatever I want, not bringing Teh Funny. That much should be painfully obvious.)

Anyhow, Carlin was a smart, clever man with a permanently rebellious soul and, shock-words or not, I can't see Bill Maher & Jon Stewart & Lewis Black and others of their stripe doing what they do without Carlin coming before them. Politics, anger, moral outrage at "morally"-driven outrageousness, & funny-as-shit riffing, that was his formula and thank goodness there are others around who also do it well.

I know George loathed religion more than anything else, so I doubt he believed in any sort of spiritual hereafter. But that doesn't mean I can't wish him well in whatever comes now, so I'll still offer a tried-and-true Rest In Piece.

Even if your bones are just laying in the ground, let em lay em lay there peacefully. Adios. And just for good luck, here are the "auxiliaries":

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21 Comments:

Blogger DCup said...

I'm glad you included the auxiliaries.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Carlin would demand nothing less than complete linguistic accuracy.

Seems the least I can do.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Mike, I grew up with George Carlin, in fact I saw him at Carnegie Hall in the early 1970s. I remember going with a friend and her uncle, and laughing my ass off to the point that my face hurt for days.

He was indeed a pioneer in the genre, and although he used vulgarity as a part of his act, I never thought it was vulgarity for the sake of vulgarity, but rather, that he had a much, much larger purpose and point in mind. Which is why I never considered him dirty or even really shocking, just observant, serpent tongued, and dead on.

He will certainly be missed.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

laughing my ass off to the point that my face hurt for days

I fear that Carlin, in one of his "linguistic" riffs, would have waaaaaaayyyyyy too much fun with this construction.

But being a gentleman, I'm gonna go anywhere near that. ;-)

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

George Carlin's Views on Aging



Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you'r e so excited about aging that you think in fractions.



'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key



You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.



'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!



But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?



You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.



But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!



So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.



You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!



You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'



Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'

1:06 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Having "pushed 40" a few months ago, I'm now ready to retch.

1:26 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

I've heard that about you, that you're a gentleman, lol.

As for ass jokes, well, let me just say, we had a young lady at our house this weekend whose boobs were so big, they actually made my butt look small.

Ba DAM bump..... lol.

3:24 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

young lady

How young?

(I may be crude, tasteless, offensive, & vile, but I have my limits.)

3:28 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

I'd say mid twenties, Mike.

And let me just say, the boobs were her, uh, most distinctive feature, lol.

3:49 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

the boobs were her, uh, most distinctive feature

As opposed to what?

3:52 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

As opposed to ANYTHING, Mike. ANYTHING. Let's just say, when you looked in her direction, you saw nothing but boobs. The kind that turn the corner a half hour before the rest of her. The kind that make Mama Cass' butt look tiny by comparison. The stuff that dreams are made of... lol.

3:57 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Well if someone'd told me a year ago that I'd have comment threads where I discussed a 20-something's gigantic tits . . . with a female commenter . . .under a blog post with the words "cocksucker" and "cunt" in the title, where the first commenter was named "Dcup," well maybe I never woulda' given this thing up in the first place.

Yet another thank you to Mr. Carlin.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Life be strange, Mikey, life be strange. Perhaps you just haven't been around the RIGHT kind of woman...lol.

I knows how to talk to lawyers -- fcol, I worked for lawyers for 20 years of my life.... and I'll never do it again... lol.

4:38 PM  
Blogger DCup said...

And I just got hired to do a little work for an attorney on my lunch hour! Sweet! Extra dough.

And no, it doesn't involve my DCups.

Gotta love the internets.

6:09 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

fcol

???

do a little work for an attorney

No such thing as "a little" work when we shysters are involved.

Billables are generated by quantity, not quality.

6:12 PM  
Blogger DCup said...

Oy. Picking up mail and faxing it to him while he's overseas for a couple of months. Now I'm worried. What will that snowball into?

I'm such a whore for a little cash. Well, I mean, a whore with a letter opener and scanner.

6:14 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

It won't snowball into anything if you don't let it.

All I'm saying is YOU set the limits on the scope of your work for him. Letting a practicing lawyer "set the limits" means "no limits."

Trust me.

6:34 PM  
Blogger DCup said...

Good advice. I'll remember that. Thanks. Please say this comes at no charge.

6:36 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Please say this comes at no charge.

Asking me to commit malpractice, to violate venerable notions of legal ethics . . . in a public forum???

Methinks not. Pleas remit payment promptly. My rates are $750/hr.

6:42 PM  
Blogger DCup said...

My rates are $750/hr.

Okay. Mine will be the envelope with the smallish pink bills with the Barbie heads on them.

Thanks!

6:51 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Mine will be the envelope with the smallish pink bills with the Barbie heads on them

So long as I can trade them on international currency exchanges.

6:53 PM  

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