Wednesday, July 16, 2008

JOHN MCCAIN KNOWS HOW TO BE A MAVERICK BECAUSE HE'S NEVER BEEN A MAVERICK, AKA JOHN MCCAIN IS FULL OF SHIT

Since the national media covers John McCain more than anyone except Obama & Josh Hamilton, As I'm sure you all know by now that "Maverick" Johnny told people that "I know how to win wars."

That's right, Johnny The Maverick knows how to win wars. He knows it like Josh Hamilton knows The Lord wants him to win Home Run Derbies. Like Pat Robertson knows when the next horrific natural disaster will hit. Like I know I know everything there is to know.

Let's review, shall we:

* John McCain was in the Navy. Ok, that's good. I assume that military service helps a fella know something about wars. Winning them, losing them, screwing them up, what have you.

* John McCain was captured and spent most of his time during the war in which he served as a prisoner-of-war. Now, let's make this clear. That sucks for John, and I'm not mocking him or blaming him for that. I've stayed in some bad places of lodging, including Motel 6, but the Hanoi Hilton musta' been pretty bad.

But getting captured and spending the duration of the war doesn't exactly make one an expert in winning, now does it?

* John McCain's service (in which he was a prisoner) came during the only war in American history that we flat-out lost.

(Current war(s) pending.)

Now maybe that's not fair either, but as John Adams is said to have said, facts are stubborn things.

So, to summarize: John McCain served in the military like 35 or 40 years ago, in a losing war, and he was captured and spent the entire war in a military prison. And these experiences give him omniscience into war-winning.

Glad to have that straightened out.

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17 Comments:

Blogger Toast said...

Nice take-down. I heard that quote from him yesterday and was like, dude, you have to be shitting me.

7:48 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Nice take-down

In fairness, it'd have been harder to take down a crippled 4 year-old who was already lying on his back.

7:54 AM  
Blogger Rickey Henderson said...

McCain's military creds rank only slightly above Bush's Air National Guard stint. Now if Maverick had engineered some sort of daring Deer Hunter style escape, then Rickey would be slightly more impressed.

7:56 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

McCain's military creds rank only slightly above Bush's Air National Guard stint.

Damn, that's some cold shit, Rick.

7:57 AM  
Anonymous Applesaucer said...

Been to a Motel 6, eh?

Dirty dog.

Applesaucer

9:04 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

I truly respect John McCain for the ordeal he must have endured in the Hanoi Hilton. I can't even imagine going through something like that; hell, I cut my hand open last week, and I'm still whining about it. The thing is, I WANT to like and support McCain because of what happened to him "over there," I really WANT to, but I just can't. I just can't. As honorable and horrific as his ordeal was, even combined with the fact that it was incurred during the service of his country, I just don't feel he's the best option for the country right now, and conclude, sadly, that he is, as Mike said, somewhat full of shit.

Which is sad, and painful, for me to conclude.

9:06 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Been to a Motel 6, eh?

Dirty dog.


Only with my wife. Makes me a cheap dog, if not a dirty one.

9:08 AM  
Blogger George said...

Well, that Motel 6 visit was only with your wife because you have the woman-scoring skills of John McCain.

As for McCain's time at the Hanoi Hilton, that makes me think how noble and brave of him, and how horrible we have to have people suffer so in the service of our country. It doesn't make me say, "Hey, this means the guy should be president." And those who pretend you can't say the second without saying the first are at best disingenuous.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Smitty said...

I don't expect my President to know how to win wars. I expect my generals to know how to win wars. I don't elect my President based on his knowledge of Vom Kreige or the Art of War. Again, I leave that to the generals.

McSame's arguments are just silly.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

McSame

Ha. Never heard that one. I like it.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Bob "Serious McLiteral" said...

"I don't expect my President to know how to win wars. I expect my generals to know how to win wars."

I think Obama was trying to change the debate about the Iraq war in his recent editorials and position statements to this point, but failed to do so.

Despite what the media and McSame are trying to say, the Iraq war is not a military problem. We knew the military would kick ass and can still kick basically anyone's ass on the planet. The "surge" may have quelled an uprising, but there is still a need to create an Iraq that will not need future surges.

The situation in Iraq isn't a military problem. It's the nation-building that Bush cannot handle and the military shouldn't be expected to solve.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Amen, Bob.

Far more importantly though: when did you go from "Chief Beer Advocate" to "Serious McLiteral"?

7:50 AM  
Blogger steves said...

I htink it more has to do with a willingness to sacrifice, as opposed to any specific experience. This would elevate his status over that of GWB by any stretch of the imagination.

That being said, I don't think that, by itself, makes him qualified or makes his ideas good ones. Frankly, his ideas suck, so I don't care what his record was. Hell, Carter had a great record and look how lousy he was.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Otto Man said...

Outstanding tag.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Bob "Chief Keg Tapper" said...

"Far more importantly though: when did you go from 'Chief Beer Advocate' to 'Serious McLiteral'?"

I was demoted by Smitty, but as you can see, I have re-earned my keep and have been returned to a new, higher rank.

They hold you to a pretty high standard over at Around the Keg.

2:16 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Carter had a great record

He did?

Outstanding tag.

Thanks. Even if my posts suck, I try to redeem them with the tags. It seems the least I can do for all six of my readers.

I was demoted by Smitty . . . They hold you to a pretty high standard over at Around the Keg.

What was the crime? Drinking Bud Light?

5:58 AM  
Blogger steves said...

He did?

Maybe not great, but decent. Graduated from the Naval Academy. Was an officer on a sub.

10:37 PM  

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