Tuesday, July 22, 2008

WARNING! EVERYTHING YOU EAT IS TOXIC

Perhaps the best way to approach this from here on out is just to report which vegetables are not infected with salmonella. Or whatever other revolting bacterium is floating within those cell walls.

I can see it. Sort of a color-coded "heightened security level" caution for produce:
Today's color is green. All green vegetables, leafy or not, are infected with ebola, botulism, and syphilis. Eat only tomatoes & jalapeños, which while containing salmonella will not kill you as readily as the green vegetables.
Yuck.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Rickey Henderson said...

Attaaaaaaaaack of the Killer Tomatoes...! Meanwhile, a nation's children lament that brussel sprouts aren't on the list of suspicious produce items.

Oh and Rickey's certain that this jalepenos epidemic will somehow be employed by Lou Dobbs in an anti-mexican rant. Just watch.

8:11 AM  
Blogger Agi said...

Racist bastards. What do they have against salsa?

8:46 AM  
Anonymous wfta said...

As anyone familiar with jalapenos knows: You can run but you cannot hide.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Smitty said...

This is why I stick to just meat. Veggies aren't for wimps; they're for people with a death wish.

5:06 PM  

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