Wednesday, December 20, 2006

BREAKING NEWS: BUSH FLIRTS WITH TRUTH; FAILS TO "CLOSE THE DEAL"

In a remarkable development, President Bush boldly approached the Truth today, buying it a drink, exchanging pleasantries, wittily complimenting it on its appearence, and even lightly placing his hand upon its as it laughed heartily at one of his bromides. To wit, speaking about America's efforts in Iraq:
We're Not Winning
But alas, the cold-feet, low self-esteem, and lack of a real pair did him in again, as it always has. That's right folks, I'm sorry to report that George returned to his side of the bar to rejoin Dick and his other buds without the digits. The Truth will not be sharing the White House bed with Georgie tonight:
You know, I think an interesting construct that General Pace uses is, 'We're not winning, we're not losing.' There's been some very positive developments. And you take a step back and look at progress in Iraq, you say, well, it's amazing — constitutional democracy in the heart of the Middle East, which is a remarkable development in itself.
Oh well. But it's progress. At this rate, he'll get the phone number next time and only blow it once he gets the Truth back to his pad, deciding to play Metallica, serve Old Milwaukee in a can, and put on Monday Night Football, before inviting it to the couch.

7 Comments:

Blogger Smitty said...

Perhaps the Truth was concerned about catching genital warts?

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Perhaps the Truth was concerned about catching genital warts?

I'm not sure I'm going anywhere near that one.

Just as the Truth declined to.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Ed in Westchester said...

Wait, so Faux News is not telling the truth, we really are not winning?
I'm not quite sure how to react to that. I could have sworn they were always right.

And wait, does this mean Bush Hates America. I mean, he is telling our enemies they are winning, so he must be on their side.

10:21 AM  
Blogger Ed in Westchester said...

MSNBC is reporting Bush says he doesn't believe most Americans want US to quit Iraq now.

Going foward, all news snippets on TV with Bush, and all public appearances, should open with the song "Out of Touch" by Hall & Oates.

I apologize for putting that song in anyone's head, but, I do not believe most Americans hate that song.

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

I can't follow him any more. Seriously, even his lies make no sense.

11:11 AM  
Blogger Weaseldog said...

He only flirts with the truth to demonstrate that to his buddies that he swings that way.

When his friends call it a night, he goes down the street to a different bar.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

He only flirts with the truth to demonstrate that to his buddies that he swings that way. When his friends call it a night, he goes down the street to a different bar.

Niiiice one. Yeah, it's Lies & Leather for George after the fellas head home to wifey, that's for sure.

He straps on the Pinocchio nose and starts with the tall tales (and the tall tails) the second he walks in.

11:58 AM  

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