THE REAL SNEAK ATTACK CAME 38 YEARS LATER
After an uncomfortable two week hiatus that saw the death of a former President, the demise of the Godfather of Soul, and the passing of a year that'll never return, I feel that it's time for me to do my duty as a citizen of the world. Some folks discover vaccines, others save children. Certain people compose symphonies, others perform acts of athletic prowess. Hell, some folks have 10 inch penises and can ejaculate-on-command as lights, camera & crew focus in. Still others serve their communities through philanthropy, generosity, or straight-out suckerdom. While I have composed symphonies & saved children, and though my penis is actually 19 inches long, I choose to serve humanity by writing a weekly post about the Friday Silly Movie Of My Youth Of The Day.
We all have our roles. Let's get to it:
1941
Picture the year: 1979 (not the year the movie takes place in, the year it came out. Calm down, just stick with me. I'll get you there). Two predicates, and only two, are needed to set the scene: Saturday Night Live has reached the first of its many crossroads. Following the incredible success of Animal House, John Belushi and his late night co-star, Dan Ackroyd -- two of the essential pieces of the original puzzle -- decide to leave the show to embark on their separate careers: a fat coke addict who dies too young, and a soon-to-be-fat, surpisingly unfunny straight man who's career will peak playing Jessica Tandy's son as he's spiritually replaced by her chauffer.
Comedy careers are a bitch.
We know the rest: SNL took years to recover, as the remaining "original cast" floundered without Belushi's comic genius and Ackroyd's writing; both men enjoyed immense stardom in those early years; and I saw every movie that either of them were in, as I also did with Bill Murray, Chevy Chase (who actually left the show in '76), and Gilda Radner.
If Garrett Morris had been around in the 90s, when every SNL skit that earned as many as two laughs was turned into a movie, I'd have gone to see The Life & Times Of Chico Escuela. Without question. Jane Curtain? Uhhh, maybe not. And Larraine Newman? She's already been in the FSMOMYOTD, so that should answer that question.
Stripes, Caddyshack, Blues Brothers, Meatballs, Ghostbusters, Fletch, the list goes on and on. I even saw Gilda Live! (remember "Let's Talk Dirty To The Animals"? Never tell an alligator, "bite my snatch") and Hanky Panky. And on the Ackroyd/Belushi tip I went so far as to see Mr. Mike's Mondo Video (which didn't feature Belushi, but did include Ackroyd, Radner, and even a short appearence by Mr. Bill). Goddamn it, I paid real money to see Neighbors, which mistakenly cast Belushi as the straight man and Ackroyd as the crazy one. Bad. Don't.
Trust me, don't.
So there you have it. 1979. Probably wearing my favorite t-shirt every time -- bought at "Spencer's," no doubt, it was light blue, with an iron-on picture of John Belushi under the caption, "U.S. Senator Blutarski," -- I saw Neighbors, Mondo Video, and Gilda Live! with a childhood friend who moved away when I was eight. Every Christmas Vacation my parents saved a year of his parents' lives and he'd come stay at our place. And by the time we were 12 years-old we had absolutely nothing in common. Except being 12 year-old American boys in 1979. So . . . we saw a lot of comedy movies. All of them, in fact. Until my family got a VHS player (in 1982, I think), and we then started to rent comedies: last week's FSMOMYOTD, Kentucky Fried Movie, Life of Brian and Holy Grail, Animal House, you know the names.
And, in late December of 1979, we went to the Triplex (which seemed like a lot of theaters in one movie house at the time) at the mall and saw 1941.
And, as all of the regulars here know I'll say: and I loved it. Thought it was hilarious, thought it was wild, thought it was . . . all that and more. And other than the fact that I was 12, I have no idea why. I even remember getting excited at Ackroyd's final line: "You know, this year wasn't the big year of the war, '41. I think the really big year is going to be 1942."
I saw a sequel in my future, and I was psyched. Let's just be glad the movie bombed, the studio never even tried to make 1942, and Spielberg suffered his first bomb.
Say what? Spielberg? In a chaotic, bloated, overwrought, late 70s-early 80s comedy? Don't I mean Ramis or Reitman or Landis or the ZAZ boys? Noooooo! I mean none other than Hollywood's golden boy, Steven Spielberg, off the astonishing successes of Jaws and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Hell, Raiders and ET were just around the bend. Yet Stevie and his wunderkind protégé, Robert Zemeckis who wrote the screenplay, got crushed by critics and box office alike. It was the flop of the year, if I recall correctly.
(Incidentally, not only did Spielberg go on to recover, but so did Zemeckis, well before his Back to the Future, Roger Rabbit, and Forrest "Fucking" Gump days: Used Cars, baby! Do I see a future FSMOMYOTD? Who knows, it may be too good, too funny. If you've seen it, you know what I mean. That's a Funny Movie.)
Anyhow, as usual I remember little about 1941, which based on memory seems to take a vaguely From Here To Eternity-ish plot -- the days leading up to Pearl Harbor -- and a humongous ensamble cast, and attempted to add hijinks galore. I recall a naked chick on a submarine periscope, a general crying at the opening night of Dumbo, and . . . well, that's about it.
The naked gal? Denise Cheshire, the same actress who played the naked swimming girl in Jaws. Wow, a little o' that there post-modern comedy from Spielberg back in '79. Except it wasn't funny. Now, if she'd appeared, swimming naked off the shore of Omaha Beach, in the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan, now that'd be funny.
Anyhow, that's about as good a transition as I can make to my favorite part of these 100,000 word posts, so let's turn to . . .
The Cast. So extensive, I won't even have time to address FSMOMYOFD alumna, Lorraine Gary, who we know as Chief Brody's wife in Spielberg's initial blockbuster effort, Jaws (maybe she played Capt. Miller's "wife back in Maine," even though we never saw that character). Nor can I talk about Murray Hamilton, who also appeared in Jaws, as the cynical Mayor (General Marshall? Ok, I'll stop doing this).
Damn it, the cast is so huge, I don't even have adequate time to talk about the omnipresence in 70s and 80s films (especially those by Spielberg) of the cynical, authority figure, only out for profit and power, to the detriment of all around him: Keep the beach open, damn that man-eating shark. Keep the rollercoaster operating, damn that madman blowing them up (FSMOMYOTD reference alert!). Keep that alien in a cage subjected to scientific testing, damn Eliott's feelings.
I can't even talk about Eddie Deezen, who played Eugene in Grease before parlaying that role into an entire career playing nerds (How did they miss him for Revenge Of The Nerds?) No Time. No time to discuss the early-in-their-career appearences here of John Candy, Patty Lupone, Joe Flaherty, Nancy Allen, Michael McKean (who I knew, at the time, only as Lenny, from "Laverne & Shirley"), Mickey Rourke, Treat Williams (fresh off his appearence as Berger in Milos Forman's film version of Hair), nor uncredited appearences by James Caan and Penny Marshall.
I can't even mention that a featured FSMOMYOTD Director, John Landis, nor the guy who played Otter in Landis' best movie, were also in 1941 as "Corporal Mizerany" and "Captain Loomis Birkhead," respectively.
How can I waste any time or space talking about these folks when I'm dealing with a bloated, pretty-much awful comedy that included legitimate screen talents like Slim Pickens, Robert Stack, Warren Oates, Ned Beatty, Christopher Lee, and Toshiro Mifune (!). A brief snippet on each:
Stack, with a 93 film resume extending back to 1939, deserves mention here for one reason only, and it ain't cause he was Eliot Ness before Costner: the re-birth of his career as a tough-talking authority figure in the 80s and 90s, most notably as Agent Flemming in Beavis & Butthead Do America, and of course, as Rex Kramer in Airplane. Full cavity searches and beating the shit out of hari krishnas at the airport? Thank god for this man.
(Stack also appeared on a 1980 episode of "The Love Boat" and was in Caddyshack II, so even he made mistakes.)
Oates was in The Wild Bunch. And . . . he was Sgt. Hulka! The Big Toe. Need I say more? Do we elect him into the FSMOMYOTD Hall of Fame right now, or do we wait until I run out of 70s films, finally relent, and do Stripes? He also played Sissy Spacek's father inTerrence Malick's Badlands, for the cinefiles among us.
Lee has appeared in no fewer than 257 movies. He has played Count Dracula (nine times), Dr. Fu Manchu (five times), The Frankenstein Monster, Sir Henry Baskerville in a remake of The Hound of the Baskervilles, Kharis the Mummy, Ramses the Pharaoh in two distinct efforts, Mephistopheles and Lucifer in different movies as well as "The Prince of Darkness" in yet another, "Death" in two separate movies, Saruman (three times), DarthTyranus (whoever that is, but I'm gonna guess from the name he's a bad guy), The Man with the Golden Gun in The Man With The Golden Gun, Willie Wonka's father, and "Roquefort" in three different Three Musketeers movies (Roquefort? Was he the man with the golden wheel of cheese?).
Let's just stop and contemplate for a moment the epic scope of this man's career. {Pause} Ok, that's enough contemplation.
He's also played pointilist painter Georges Seurat, Sherlock Holmes, and even Thor, but this is clearly a man at home playing characters of pure evil. So when Spielberg decided to cast Lee in his comedy about the beginning of WWII (and what a laugh riot that is),
who did he have him play? That's right -- a Nazi, Capt. Wolfgang von Kleinschmidt. Spiels wouldn't play it any other way.
(Get it? Spiels wouldn't play it? 'Cause spiel is German for . . . oh, never mind.)
Lee was also in Return From Witch Mountain, the sequel to a FSMOMYOFD, as well as Airport '77, an appearence I'm sure he'd sooner forget even more than Dracula #7 or Dr. Fu Manchu #4. Then again Jack Lemmon, Olivia DeHavilland, Jimmy Stewart, and Joseph Cotton all managed to find themselves in that sunken wreck, so maybe Lee's ok with that paycheck. And, to tie it all together, Lee hosted a very funny episode of SNL in 1978, the very first time I watched it.
I think I'm getting a bit teary.
Beatty: Raped in Deliverence; Peter Finch verbally raped by him in Network. If you haven't seen both those excellent 70s films, remedy that as soon as possible. Both movies are worth a lot more than the signature scenes we've seen 1,000 times at sports events or on comedy specials.
Pickens, who played Hollis P. Wood, shortened to "Holly Wood" to supply one of the truly awful gags in 1941, basically played the "Slim Pickens role," best exemplified in Dr. Strangelove. His line about the airman's emergency package giving a fella' a helluva weekend in Vegas is but one of many, many great lines there. And, of course, the movie ends with Pickens riding to kingdom come on an H-bomb.
(And nobody give me any "spoiler alert" guff for that one. If you haven't seen Dr. Strangelove you deserve a far greater spoiling that having the end of the movie -- which you see coming from the git go anyway -- given away. Come to think of it, if you haven't seen it, stop reading! I don't want your eyes on my post! Get outta here!)
Finally, Toshiro Mifune, one of my favorite actors, and one of the great screen stars ever. Like Brando or DeNiro or Holden or Cooper or Bogart in their primes, Mifune was a one-in-a-billion combination of physical presense, acting chops, facial expressions, humor, and charisma that can't be understood until you watch him in action. Seven Samurai, one of my all-time favorite movies couldn't be the same without his glowering, his swagger, his humor. His final moment in that film is an emotional whirlwind; in the hands of another actor it could come off as cliched. Without him as the villain, Rashomon doesn't carry the viewer for an entire feature. He's the brawn, the action, the humanity in an otherwise cerebral picture.
I could go on about Mifune all day, but I won't. I'll just ask, what the hell was he doing in 1941? And, you know, I'll also ask, what the hell were any of these people doing in 1941? I guess they must've known deep-down that 27 years later, they'd be re-immortalized in this post.
They knew what they were doing afterall.
We all have our roles. Let's get to it:
1941
Picture the year: 1979 (not the year the movie takes place in, the year it came out. Calm down, just stick with me. I'll get you there). Two predicates, and only two, are needed to set the scene: Saturday Night Live has reached the first of its many crossroads. Following the incredible success of Animal House, John Belushi and his late night co-star, Dan Ackroyd -- two of the essential pieces of the original puzzle -- decide to leave the show to embark on their separate careers: a fat coke addict who dies too young, and a soon-to-be-fat, surpisingly unfunny straight man who's career will peak playing Jessica Tandy's son as he's spiritually replaced by her chauffer.Comedy careers are a bitch.
We know the rest: SNL took years to recover, as the remaining "original cast" floundered without Belushi's comic genius and Ackroyd's writing; both men enjoyed immense stardom in those early years; and I saw every movie that either of them were in, as I also did with Bill Murray, Chevy Chase (who actually left the show in '76), and Gilda Radner.
If Garrett Morris had been around in the 90s, when every SNL skit that earned as many as two laughs was turned into a movie, I'd have gone to see The Life & Times Of Chico Escuela. Without question. Jane Curtain? Uhhh, maybe not. And Larraine Newman? She's already been in the FSMOMYOTD, so that should answer that question.
Stripes, Caddyshack, Blues Brothers, Meatballs, Ghostbusters, Fletch, the list goes on and on. I even saw Gilda Live! (remember "Let's Talk Dirty To The Animals"? Never tell an alligator, "bite my snatch") and Hanky Panky. And on the Ackroyd/Belushi tip I went so far as to see Mr. Mike's Mondo Video (which didn't feature Belushi, but did include Ackroyd, Radner, and even a short appearence by Mr. Bill). Goddamn it, I paid real money to see Neighbors, which mistakenly cast Belushi as the straight man and Ackroyd as the crazy one. Bad. Don't.
Trust me, don't.
So there you have it. 1979. Probably wearing my favorite t-shirt every time -- bought at "Spencer's," no doubt, it was light blue, with an iron-on picture of John Belushi under the caption, "U.S. Senator Blutarski," -- I saw Neighbors, Mondo Video, and Gilda Live! with a childhood friend who moved away when I was eight. Every Christmas Vacation my parents saved a year of his parents' lives and he'd come stay at our place. And by the time we were 12 years-old we had absolutely nothing in common. Except being 12 year-old American boys in 1979. So . . . we saw a lot of comedy movies. All of them, in fact. Until my family got a VHS player (in 1982, I think), and we then started to rent comedies: last week's FSMOMYOTD, Kentucky Fried Movie, Life of Brian and Holy Grail, Animal House, you know the names.
And, in late December of 1979, we went to the Triplex (which seemed like a lot of theaters in one movie house at the time) at the mall and saw 1941.
And, as all of the regulars here know I'll say: and I loved it. Thought it was hilarious, thought it was wild, thought it was . . . all that and more. And other than the fact that I was 12, I have no idea why. I even remember getting excited at Ackroyd's final line: "You know, this year wasn't the big year of the war, '41. I think the really big year is going to be 1942."
I saw a sequel in my future, and I was psyched. Let's just be glad the movie bombed, the studio never even tried to make 1942, and Spielberg suffered his first bomb.
Say what? Spielberg? In a chaotic, bloated, overwrought, late 70s-early 80s comedy? Don't I mean Ramis or Reitman or Landis or the ZAZ boys? Noooooo! I mean none other than Hollywood's golden boy, Steven Spielberg, off the astonishing successes of Jaws and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Hell, Raiders and ET were just around the bend. Yet Stevie and his wunderkind protégé, Robert Zemeckis who wrote the screenplay, got crushed by critics and box office alike. It was the flop of the year, if I recall correctly.
(Incidentally, not only did Spielberg go on to recover, but so did Zemeckis, well before his Back to the Future, Roger Rabbit, and Forrest "Fucking" Gump days: Used Cars, baby! Do I see a future FSMOMYOTD? Who knows, it may be too good, too funny. If you've seen it, you know what I mean. That's a Funny Movie.)
Anyhow, as usual I remember little about 1941, which based on memory seems to take a vaguely From Here To Eternity-ish plot -- the days leading up to Pearl Harbor -- and a humongous ensamble cast, and attempted to add hijinks galore. I recall a naked chick on a submarine periscope, a general crying at the opening night of Dumbo, and . . . well, that's about it.
The naked gal? Denise Cheshire, the same actress who played the naked swimming girl in Jaws. Wow, a little o' that there post-modern comedy from Spielberg back in '79. Except it wasn't funny. Now, if she'd appeared, swimming naked off the shore of Omaha Beach, in the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan, now that'd be funny.
Anyhow, that's about as good a transition as I can make to my favorite part of these 100,000 word posts, so let's turn to . . .
The Cast. So extensive, I won't even have time to address FSMOMYOFD alumna, Lorraine Gary, who we know as Chief Brody's wife in Spielberg's initial blockbuster effort, Jaws (maybe she played Capt. Miller's "wife back in Maine," even though we never saw that character). Nor can I talk about Murray Hamilton, who also appeared in Jaws, as the cynical Mayor (General Marshall? Ok, I'll stop doing this).
Damn it, the cast is so huge, I don't even have adequate time to talk about the omnipresence in 70s and 80s films (especially those by Spielberg) of the cynical, authority figure, only out for profit and power, to the detriment of all around him: Keep the beach open, damn that man-eating shark. Keep the rollercoaster operating, damn that madman blowing them up (FSMOMYOTD reference alert!). Keep that alien in a cage subjected to scientific testing, damn Eliott's feelings.
I can't even talk about Eddie Deezen, who played Eugene in Grease before parlaying that role into an entire career playing nerds (How did they miss him for Revenge Of The Nerds?) No Time. No time to discuss the early-in-their-career appearences here of John Candy, Patty Lupone, Joe Flaherty, Nancy Allen, Michael McKean (who I knew, at the time, only as Lenny, from "Laverne & Shirley"), Mickey Rourke, Treat Williams (fresh off his appearence as Berger in Milos Forman's film version of Hair), nor uncredited appearences by James Caan and Penny Marshall.
I can't even mention that a featured FSMOMYOTD Director, John Landis, nor the guy who played Otter in Landis' best movie, were also in 1941 as "Corporal Mizerany" and "Captain Loomis Birkhead," respectively.
How can I waste any time or space talking about these folks when I'm dealing with a bloated, pretty-much awful comedy that included legitimate screen talents like Slim Pickens, Robert Stack, Warren Oates, Ned Beatty, Christopher Lee, and Toshiro Mifune (!). A brief snippet on each:
Stack, with a 93 film resume extending back to 1939, deserves mention here for one reason only, and it ain't cause he was Eliot Ness before Costner: the re-birth of his career as a tough-talking authority figure in the 80s and 90s, most notably as Agent Flemming in Beavis & Butthead Do America, and of course, as Rex Kramer in Airplane. Full cavity searches and beating the shit out of hari krishnas at the airport? Thank god for this man.
(Stack also appeared on a 1980 episode of "The Love Boat" and was in Caddyshack II, so even he made mistakes.)
Oates was in The Wild Bunch. And . . . he was Sgt. Hulka! The Big Toe. Need I say more? Do we elect him into the FSMOMYOTD Hall of Fame right now, or do we wait until I run out of 70s films, finally relent, and do Stripes? He also played Sissy Spacek's father inTerrence Malick's Badlands, for the cinefiles among us.
Lee has appeared in no fewer than 257 movies. He has played Count Dracula (nine times), Dr. Fu Manchu (five times), The Frankenstein Monster, Sir Henry Baskerville in a remake of The Hound of the Baskervilles, Kharis the Mummy, Ramses the Pharaoh in two distinct efforts, Mephistopheles and Lucifer in different movies as well as "The Prince of Darkness" in yet another, "Death" in two separate movies, Saruman (three times), DarthTyranus (whoever that is, but I'm gonna guess from the name he's a bad guy), The Man with the Golden Gun in The Man With The Golden Gun, Willie Wonka's father, and "Roquefort" in three different Three Musketeers movies (Roquefort? Was he the man with the golden wheel of cheese?).
Let's just stop and contemplate for a moment the epic scope of this man's career. {Pause} Ok, that's enough contemplation.
He's also played pointilist painter Georges Seurat, Sherlock Holmes, and even Thor, but this is clearly a man at home playing characters of pure evil. So when Spielberg decided to cast Lee in his comedy about the beginning of WWII (and what a laugh riot that is),
who did he have him play? That's right -- a Nazi, Capt. Wolfgang von Kleinschmidt. Spiels wouldn't play it any other way.
(Get it? Spiels wouldn't play it? 'Cause spiel is German for . . . oh, never mind.)
Lee was also in Return From Witch Mountain, the sequel to a FSMOMYOFD, as well as Airport '77, an appearence I'm sure he'd sooner forget even more than Dracula #7 or Dr. Fu Manchu #4. Then again Jack Lemmon, Olivia DeHavilland, Jimmy Stewart, and Joseph Cotton all managed to find themselves in that sunken wreck, so maybe Lee's ok with that paycheck. And, to tie it all together, Lee hosted a very funny episode of SNL in 1978, the very first time I watched it.
I think I'm getting a bit teary.
Beatty: Raped in Deliverence; Peter Finch verbally raped by him in Network. If you haven't seen both those excellent 70s films, remedy that as soon as possible. Both movies are worth a lot more than the signature scenes we've seen 1,000 times at sports events or on comedy specials.
Pickens, who played Hollis P. Wood, shortened to "Holly Wood" to supply one of the truly awful gags in 1941, basically played the "Slim Pickens role," best exemplified in Dr. Strangelove. His line about the airman's emergency package giving a fella' a helluva weekend in Vegas is but one of many, many great lines there. And, of course, the movie ends with Pickens riding to kingdom come on an H-bomb.
(And nobody give me any "spoiler alert" guff for that one. If you haven't seen Dr. Strangelove you deserve a far greater spoiling that having the end of the movie -- which you see coming from the git go anyway -- given away. Come to think of it, if you haven't seen it, stop reading! I don't want your eyes on my post! Get outta here!)
Finally, Toshiro Mifune, one of my favorite actors, and one of the great screen stars ever. Like Brando or DeNiro or Holden or Cooper or Bogart in their primes, Mifune was a one-in-a-billion combination of physical presense, acting chops, facial expressions, humor, and charisma that can't be understood until you watch him in action. Seven Samurai, one of my all-time favorite movies couldn't be the same without his glowering, his swagger, his humor. His final moment in that film is an emotional whirlwind; in the hands of another actor it could come off as cliched. Without him as the villain, Rashomon doesn't carry the viewer for an entire feature. He's the brawn, the action, the humanity in an otherwise cerebral picture.
I could go on about Mifune all day, but I won't. I'll just ask, what the hell was he doing in 1941? And, you know, I'll also ask, what the hell were any of these people doing in 1941? I guess they must've known deep-down that 27 years later, they'd be re-immortalized in this post.
They knew what they were doing afterall.
posted by Mike at 9:14 AM
40 Comments:
My God. It's full of stars.
Isn't that cast something? It's like the Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World of the 70's.
Is that the correct number of "Mads"?
Like you, I saw "1941" when it came out. I thought it was the funniest thing. EVAH. Then I saw it again about 5 years later and I wondered why I thought so.
Sure, everyone tries REALLY HARD. They all do what you're supposed to do in a comedy. But it didn't work.
There's an actor's saying -- that I read somewhere -- that drama is easy, comedy is hard. And you can tell with this movie. Spielberg has never been able to do comedy. I think his directions are to talk LOUD and to talk FAST. And maybe fall on something.
The "Airplane"-type movies worked because Nielsen, Stack and Bridges weren't told to act funny, they were told to play it as drama.
Bill Murray's stuff is so good because he doesn't act funny -- okay, maybe with Carl -- he just acts.
But in "1941", they all try to act funny. And it didn't work.
You know, speaking of Otter, he was in another movie in the mid-80s which also had the guy from "Porkys," and it had something to do with a rafting competition, which I though was really funny, but the title escapes me, and is totally irrelevant to this.
But you may have worn the Senator Blutarksy shirt, but who would've thought that Otter would've become the Vice-President?
And I agree, whoever thought of casting Belushi as the straight guy in "Neighbors" should be shot -- though I read once that Belushi wanted this so that he wouldn't be playing to stereotype. I think I read that in the Woodward book on Belushi -- so who knows what really happened.
And I think that I've rambled on way too long.
I think that I've rambled on way too long.
Following a 300,000 word post, that's comedy, John.
It's funny, when Mrs. Mike asked me this morning what movie I wrote about, I explained it in detail. Her only question: Spielberg did a comedy?
Yeah, I remember seeing this movie when it came out. I mostly hated it because I had no idea what was going on. I guess at that age (~11) I didn't really have any idea what was going on in most movies, but at least I thought I did. But not this one.
Applesaucer
I did not make it through this movie the one time I tried to watch it many years ago.
I've caught snippets since then, but nothing makes me want to say.
"Darth Tyranus" - so you abstained from the most recent 3 part clusterfuck from George Lucas eh? I only saw the first one in theatres. The latter two on cable. Not.Good.At.All.
Though I do like me some Natalie Portman.
I saw the first of the second round of Star Wars flicks. Was that The Phantom Menace? Just awful; almost unwatchable.
Watching that fucking land speeder race is one of the three worst moments of my life.
Natalie. Mmmmm.
I remember watching Natalie in "The Professional." I think she was about 12. Watching that movie, I understood Nabokov's "Lolita" so much better.
Of course, leave it to Natalie to grow up and play the role of a topless dancer, who doesn't take off her top.
You of course have seen "Closer" right?
That scene with her as a... (so as to not spoil it for anyone)
Ed & John - Good to see the readership has its collective mind in the same place, as usual.
Yes, I've seen "Closer." Why else would one sit through a Jude Law movie, but to see Natalie's striptease? And boy, it was sure a tease -- at first I thought that Mike Nichols was just being an old prude, then I heard that Natalie didn't want to do the nudity. If you don't want to do the nudity, then why in the hell are you taking a role as a topless dancer? (The same goes to Jessica Alba in "Sin City." If you're going to play a stripper, then do the stripping, damn it.)
Mike, I'm glad that we haven't let you down.
I'm guessing when you're as beautiful as Natalie or Jessica you can do whatever you want. And I can't wait til Natalie & Jessica decide they want to take it off.
And yes, I AM on a 1st name basis with both of them, as well as Shakira. I realize everyone's on a 1st name basis with her, but I'm REALLY on a 1st name basic. I call her Sha.
Hey, guys, there is good news on the Portman front (and back? we'll have to see the movie): supposedly she does a nude scene in Goya's Ghosts, to be released in the US this year.
Oh, and talking about weirdnesses and Otter/Tim Matheson, I got to write this blog entry a couple years ago: "And besides, I just got back from a dinner party where I got to give martini-making tips to Otter from Animal House. Seriously, Tim Matheson was there--things like this happen in Santa Barbara--and I tried to sell him on the delights of Junipero gin (and Noilly Prat and orange bitters, of course--two olives). He is a very engaging and pleasant man. Now I get to think about the 15 year-old me watching the antics of Animal House in some theater in New Jersey, clueless as to the life I might someday lead. But laughing, just in case."
1941 bombed? Wow, I remember loving it as a kid when it first appeared on HBO. That would've meant that I was 11 or 12. Maybe that was the age group it was targeted for. Haven't seen it since.
Hollywoooooooood!!!
You got to give it to Spielberg. When he makes a bad movie, he makes a bad movie. See, also, Hook, Always, The Color Purple, and Saving Ryan's Privates -- oops, that's someone else.
Of course, leave it to Natalie to grow up and play the role of a topless dancer, who doesn't take off her top
No kidding. Tease.
I gotta say, I saw 1941 well into my 20s. And I really didn't like it. As John Royal said... said, they tried. Too Hard.
And since it came up, I thought Saving Private Ryan was incredible. Saving Ryan's Privates, however, was lame even as porn goes.
The Japanese sub is hilarious.
George, that's very good news, though this whole "stripped as torture" isn't really my cup o' tea. I'm hoping she'll be Maya in Goya's Naked Maya as well.
Meanwhile . . . Mike's Neighborhood, ladies & gents: the site where men (me included) come to discuss naked young women and porn flicks. And it's all my doing.
I guess, as I said, we all have our roles.
Hollywoooooooood!!!
The Japanese sub is hilarious.
That's about half of what I remember from the first time I saw it.
And to think, Mifune was the guy who screamed "Hollywooooooood."
Hey, while we're on the topic, "1941" "star" Nancy Allen took her clothes off in several of her then-husband Brian DePalma's films -- sure, she's not Natalie Portman, but she didn't need to feel any shame.
All I know about Allen & DePalma, she was in one of his films that was actually good: Blow Out.
Stripes, Caddyshack, Blues Brothers, Meatballs, Ghostbusters, Fletch,
Four of those six would make my Top 20 Comedies of all time.
Do we elect him into the FSMOMYOTD Hall of Fame right now, or do we wait until I run out of 70s films, finally relent, and do Stripes?
Wait a sec... I thought you did only silly movies in this series. You know, "silly" as in the "so bad and/or stupid they're amusing" sense. Kiss Meets the Phantom, right? Stripes was a mainstream comedy, and an outstanding one at that.
Four of those six would make my Top 20 Comedies of all time.
Assume you mean Caddyshack, Stripes, Ghostbusters, and Blues Brothers. Not saying I agree, but how can it be Meatballs? And while Fletch had its moments, top-20?
I thought you did only silly movies in this series . . . Stripes was a mainstream comedy, and an outstanding one at that.
So . . . I guess that counts as a vote against Stripes in this series? But wouldn't it be fun to do so? And that'd open the door to Smoky & The Bandit, Used Cars . . . We have to think long-view here.
Anyway, enough of this fiddle-faddle, the crowd wants an the answer to the pressing question, and it wants it now: Did you actually see this week's movie.
I'm laying good money the answer is "No."
First, "Carrie" is a good DePalma/Allen movie.
Second, "Blues Brothers" goes in my Top 20 -- of worst movies ever made. If they'd only put as much money into the script as they put into the film's cocaine budget.
I think that "Meatballs" could qualify for the silly movie, but I have to say no to "Stripes" -- it's funny because it's supposed to be funny, and it's also good. And, at one point, didn't they actually make a "Meatballs" sequel that starred Shannon Tweed, or some other ex-Playmate -- now, that would probably qualify for the silly movie.
It's many years since I saw Blues Brothers. many more since I saw Meatballs, but it didn't impress me much at the time.
I guess it just doesn't matter.
It just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.
That's funny. I yelled that at a partner once. I was looking for a new job not much later.
My Two Cents:
Caddyshack -- great. An all-time comedy classic. Anyone who says otherwise is "wrong."
Stripes -- I've seen it a few times and don't remember much from it, believe it or not.
Meatballs -- More of a "feel good" movie than a "funny" movie. But a movie of its time that I'd like to revisit to get a feel for some of the things we've lost.
Fletch -- I didn't think this was great, but there are lots of lines in there that I still use unconsciously. I suspect we'd all be surprised how influential the movie was.
Blues Brothers -- overrated in my book, but too much funny stuff not to put on the list somewhere.
Ghostbusters -- I haven't seen this in forever. I'd have to see it again. I don't remember laughing out loud, but I do remember at least liking it.
Applesaucer
Can't argue with your assessment of Caddyshack, though I wish I could. Just to hear your ridiculous arguments for why I'm "wrong."
Meatballs definitely captured that particularly late-70's misfits-feeling-good thing. A lost ethos to be sure.
All I remember from Fletch, and I mean all, is when he said his name was "John Cocktosten."
I laughed out loud at times with Ghostbusters. At 16, I thought the "Yes, your honor, it's true. This man has no dick" was among the best lines I'd ever heard. I was *actually* on the floor after that one.
By the way, Mr. Saucer, surprised not to see you join in on the DePalma bashing. Knowing that you're such a fan of his.
"By the way, Mr. Saucer, surprised not to see you join in on the DePalma bashing. Knowing that you're such a fan of his."
I bashed him a while back here -- said something like Dressed to Kill was his last really good movie. Actually, I think I liked Body Double, too -- maybe more for the nifty camera work. I HATED the Untouchables.
As for Blowout -- I don't know why Quentin Tarrantino makes such a big deal about it.
I guess the thing with DePalma is that his movies look great in the commercials but never live up to it in the theater.
Applesaucer
Oh, and I liked Scarface a lot -- in a cartoonish way.
Applesaucer
So I click on George's link and read the other stories. Apparently, Jessica Biel auctioned herself off as a date to raise funds for a kid who lost a leg in an accident.
So THATS how Jeter was able to get her.
So let me get this straight. Ron Jeremy was in 1941?
As for Blowout -- I don't know why Quentin Tarrantino makes such a big deal about it.
Probably because it's an homage, of sorts, to Antonioni's Blow-Up. The Maestro's artistic vision combined with DePalma's well-filmed and self-conscious shlock & shock work is right up Quentin's alley.
Or maybe he has another reason. Who knows?
Ed - Hate the pinstripers though we may, we're just gonna have to admit that 4-time World Series winners who earn in excess of $10M a year can get themselves a chick or two.
I say this, because I know it from experience. And Biel wasn't that good.
I've never told any of you, but I'm actually Mariano Riviera. "Mike" is just a pseudomym.
grumble... grumble... another movie I have to somehow dig up to watch again now...
Thanks a lot Mike...
/hehehehe
I do need to rewatch the movie though. :)
I do need to rewatch the movie though
Hey man, this one's all on you. I'm not sure this one demands (re-) viewing.
Now, Kentucky Fried Movie, that's a different story/
Assume you mean Caddyshack, Stripes, Ghostbusters, and Blues Brothers.
Yes, those are the four. Fletch was stupid. Don't even remember Meatballs.
I did see 1941 but I confess I don't remember much of it.
I did see 1941
Excellent. We're on a roll here.
So, the rest of you folks--what's your (say) 3 favorite movies? Mine are:
1. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (saw it in the theater when I was in college, when the man I was insanely in love with was planning on having his MD father check him into a mental ward if his very low draft number came up). This is the Best Movie of All Freaking Time, IMO.
2) The first Christopher Walken "Prophecy". Gabriel as psychotic hit man--gotta love it. Chris Walken can come for me in the night any time!
3) Damn it, I forget. Starts with Aaaa...Bahhh...shit.
"Saving Private Ryan" isn't on the list, though the scene where the officials drive up to the mother's house and tell her that her sons are KIA, and she falls down on the porch, all without dialog, is one of the best scenes ever shot. Another is the scene immediately after the rape in Rob Roy, with Jessica Lange screaming at the young man to not fucking tell Rob that she'd been raped--she should have got another Oscar just for that.
Oh, I remember #3 now. "Dr. Strangelove", what else? ;-)
Never saw Prophesy. Man, Walken's been in a lot of movies.
Obviously I've seen Cuckoo's Nest & Strangelove. The latter has to be among my Top N films, just not sure where.
I gave up years ago trying to ID the top 3 or top 5 or even top 10. Just too many movies I love, and too often my opinion changes from year-to-year as my moods change.
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