Wednesday, February 21, 2007

HONEY, BRING ME A TRIPLE WHOPPER WITH CHEESE, I'M WATCHING A GREAT DOCUMENTARY ON NUTRITION

Straight from the "You've Got To Be Kidding Me Files," we learn from A.P. that now kids have a new way to learn about the dangers of obesity. And tips on how to avoid it! Just how are the children gonna get this knowledge?

By playing a video game, of course:

The game, "Body Mechanics," teaches youngsters how to avoid the ravages of being overweight. Gamers join a team of superheroes called Body Mechanics and war against the Evil Coalition of Harm and Disease, battling villains with names like Col Estorol and Betes II. The fighting takes place inside the body of Jack Decayd. If Obeez City is not contained, "Jack will die soon," says Neuro, the Yoda-like wise one who narrates the action. "I remember how it started. A few snacks here, a soft drink there," Neuro says in an ominous tone during the opening. "And before we knew it, the Evil Coalition of Harm and Disease was threatening us all." Neuro then makes his plea: "You must join the team of heroic Body Mechanics. They need your help in order to gain the knowledge necessary to save Jack's life. Only you can change how this story ends."

Just shoot me now.

7 Comments:

Blogger George said...

Gee, I guess it would be too much to have a computer game that flashes the title card "Get Off Your Fat Ass and Play Outside, Kid!" and then fades to black.

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

George, I'd buy a copy just to show my support.

12:08 PM  
Blogger Rickey Henderson said...

This sounds almost as painfully educational as "Captain Planet." Seriously, I'd rather nail my penis to a structure fire than play this game.

2:46 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

"Captain Planet."

I'm not familiar with that one.

nail my penis to a structure fire

Not familiar with that one either, but no explanation required.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Rickey Henderson said...

"Captain Planet and the Planeteers" was a kids cartoon that was around during my youth. It was an unholy blend of environmental preachyness and bad cartoon plots. I'd give a link, but frankly, I don't feel like wasting any more time thinking about it.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Otto Man said...

I get all the other punny names -- Col. Esterol is straightforward, and Betes II is Diabetes, etc. -- but I'm drawing a blank on the "Evil Coalition of Harm and Disease." ECHD? ECOHAD?

6:44 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Sounds vaguely "Axis of Evil"-ish. Sort of the opposite of The Coalition of the Willing and all that shit.

7:43 PM  

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