UGH!

This is what I dread. An open-ended meme. The need to just let it all hang out and write stuff with no guidelines, no questions to answer, no news articles or current events to get snarky about. Hmmm.

Seems that Rickey Henderson, of the world-famous humor blog, Riding With Rickey, has tagged me with this 8 Random Things About You Meme (click on the link to his name; it's not a baseball-reference.com link, nor is it the real Man of Steal's Wikipedia page. Just a fellow blogger, who I note is a fellow "Sagittarius/Year of the Sheep" person. There's a tidbit, huh?)

Anyhow, the instructions are, "list 8 random (but true) things" about yourself. You see, totally random. Ok, enough whining. Let's do this thing:

1. In 1990, I was a waiter at TGI Fuckin' Fridays. I wore the stupid red-and-white striped shirt & a hat, had buttons on my suspenders, tried to up-sell customers to top-shelf liquor when they ordered frozen drinks with blueberries & papaya and whatnot, even ate their rancid appetizers whenever I could shovel them down my throat.

Got fired too. Not for leading a small insurrection when they reduced our tables-per-waiter/waitress totals, nor for eating food off customer's plates before I walked them out. Nah. For asking a customer who'd stiffed me if he had problems with the service. That was a no-no I guess.

2. I cry during the final scene of Seven Samurai every time I see it. Pretty much from Kikuchiyo's death through the scene of the two survivors standing in front of the burial mounds I'm a blubbering mess.

And I've seen it innumerable times.

3. When the Rangers won the Stanley Cup in 1994, I was at every home playoff game, including game 7.

(One of the "regulars" here was largely responsible for that development, since he harangued me into buying in with him, even though I said no at least 5 times after he initially suggested getting tickets. Why is that fact important? Because if I didn't mention it, he would have in the comments. And every other time I saw him. Not worth it; I'll just mention it for him).

4. In my life, I've traveled to Canada, Argentina, Uruguay, South Korea, France, Spain, the Netherlands, Czech Republic, and about 35 states plus Puerto Rico. But I've never been to England or Mexico, despite being very close on a few occasions. Plus, I haven't seen Las Vegas or New Orleans, nor have I visited Miami since 1982.

On a related note, I never did anything fun for Spring Break.

5. But, on that collegiate drinking theme, at the end of my first week at college (in 1985) I got so demolished at a "hall party" in my dorm, I puked for what seemed liked hours, and passed out in a heap. Big deal, you say, right? Well, it must've been historic because from the next morning until sometime in the early 90's, everyone who witnessed or heard about that night called me "Ralph."

I rarely drank in high school, so I'm guessing the combination of rum-and-cokes, beer, and some sort of sloe gin concoction was responsible. Or maybe it was the collins glass sized drink of straight vodka that I chugged about 3 minutes before the ralphing began. Hard to say at this juncture. All I know is I had a hangover not only the next day, but the day after that as well. Only two-day hangover of my life.

And to this day, I still can't drink rum. Just thinking of the smell makes me wretch.

6. I haven't owned a car since 1991.

I've also lived in NYC since 1991, so I'd assume these facts are related. Just sayin'.

7. French fries are my favorite food. Crispy french fries.

8. My earliest, clearly identifiable memory is my third birthday. I got one of those Fisher-Price garages, with the three levels, the curved ramp, and the elevator that rang at each floor. Man, I loved that thing.

That's it. I tag no one specifically, but any of y'all that are reading this, you can consider yourselves tagged if you want to perpetuate, continue, and push this thing into the future. It's your choice.