BREAKING NEWS: THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS . . . JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING (BUT DON'T WORRY, THE CHIEF EXEC IS COMING TO THE RESCUE!)
Next up: a summit of death row inmates will pow-pow to discuss crime reduction; the ghosts of Adolph Hitler, Ghengis Khan, Napolean, and Alexander The Great host a symposium on world peace; and the CEOs of major oil companies will use multi-zillion dollar ad campaigns to hoodwink the public into believing they're leading the charge to develop alternatives to fossil fuel.
(Oh wait, that last one already happened. Sorry.)
Do I hear news about creationists from 37 states addressing American students' declining science & math scores?