Tuesday, January 22, 2008

BREAKING NEWS: THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS . . . JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING (BUT DON'T WORRY, THE CHIEF EXEC IS COMING TO THE RESCUE!)

So, seems that the President and some of the noisemakers on Capitol Hill are gonna get together and figure out how to fix the economy! Gee, that should work out just fine.

Next up: a summit of death row inmates will pow-pow to discuss crime reduction; the ghosts of Adolph Hitler, Ghengis Khan, Napolean, and Alexander The Great host a symposium on world peace; and the CEOs of major oil companies will use multi-zillion dollar ad campaigns to hoodwink the public into believing they're leading the charge to develop alternatives to fossil fuel.

(Oh wait, that last one already happened. Sorry.)

Do I hear news about creationists from 37 states addressing American students' declining science & math scores?

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17 Comments:

Blogger DED said...

And the global markets reacted soooo well to the news.

10:34 AM  
Blogger Comandante AgĂ­ said...

I can hear a voice in the distance singing: "In the year 2000..."

11:12 AM  
Blogger Weaseldog said...

We're lucky to be experiencing the greatest economy ever known to George Bush II.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Smitty said...

And the global markets reacted soooo well to the news

Yeah, what was that...the Dow-Jones fell 400 points in 2 minutes this morning??

1:43 PM  
Blogger DED said...

Yeah, the futures market was down 460 points just before the opening. I think that the first tick on the Dow was -250. It's recovered alot since then. Running about -130 right now.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Rickey Henderson said...

Blue Horseshoe LOVES Anacot Steel.

So when should Rickey start hiding his money under the mattress and stockpiling canned goods?

You know, with climate change causing all sorts of added hilarity, we could easily be looking at a dustbowl/Great Depression situation in this country in the not too distant future.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Edwardo said...

When unemployment really takes off much later this year, and some of the big names on the street, you know the ones that are too big to save, become officially bankrupt, as opposed to unofficially, then the dreaded D word, Depression will start to waft its way into the public sphere.

In '09 after the new CIC takes office, a Depression will be officially declared. Politically it will be in the interest of the new administration to do so since it will give them carte blanche to push through all sorts of "interesting" agendas.

9:49 PM  
Blogger steves said...

So, who should fix the economy? Can anyone? You'll have to help me out. I only took micro and macro economics and my profs were terrible.

Maybe Congress and the President can stop spending money on stupid shit.

10:03 PM  
Blogger DED said...

Maybe Congress and the President can stop spending money on stupid shit.

That certainly would be a good start.

11:37 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

who should fix the economy? Can anyone?

At this point, about the only thing would be to raise interest rates to somewhere near their "normal," market-defined level. Which would bring a massive recession, of course.

But I see no other solution.

My problem is that Bush, Congress, Bernanke (and of course Greenspan before) created most of this mess, so it's laughable to see that they're gonna arrive at some (politically expedient) solution to fix it.

Right.

6:24 AM  
Blogger steves said...

Oh ye of little faith. This Congress and President have a great track record of a variety of accomplishments.

Rickey, you should start stockpiling gold, food, water, weapons and ammo.

7:35 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

This Congress and President have a great track record of a variety of accomplishments.

True. They did manage to destroy the American economy very efficiently.

7:40 AM  
Blogger Smitty said...

Rickey, you should start stockpiling gold, food, water, weapons and ammo.

When the shit hits the fan, I'm going to steves' house. Remember the dad from Family Ties? Remember his role in Tremors II,and that secret basement chamber of his? That's what steves' basement looks like.

9:51 AM  
Blogger DED said...

Sweet!

9:58 AM  
Blogger steves said...

Shhh....now I am probably on some NSA/BATFE list, as part of the war on terrorism and bad things.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Smitty said...

now I am probably on some NSA/BATFE list

Yeah...as an asset, dude. Uncle Sam loves you.

10:19 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

As long as Smitty is brewmaster of Steve's basement, I think I'll show up.

6:36 AM  

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