But noooooooooooo! The blockheaded voters of the Granite State have to go and vote for Hillary "Just Squirt A Few Tears And Watch 'Em Run Back To Me" Clinton, and give Johnny "The Maverick" McCain a narrow victory over Romney (no silly nickname required for a man named after a baseball glove.) Idiots!
Just horrendous news all around. Let's break it down from worst to . . . well, not quite as bad (though I promise to end with one piece of truly good news, at least in the opinion of this cranky-ass blogger.):
1. Hillary is back in the damn thing. In it to win it, as I'm sure she'd say. Like her husband 16 years ago, she's the Comeback Kid. Ugh.
As any regulars here know, my hatred for this selfish, egotistical horror show knows no bounds. She stands for nothing but "Hillary," she believes in nothing but "Hillary," and she'll sell whatever remains of her sorry excuse for a soul to the highest bidder in every situation.
(I know that's "true" of all politicians, especially those who run for Prez, but we're talking about matters of degree here. Along with Giuliani, she takes the Selfish:Serving Ratio to nearly infinite heights.)
And now she's back in the front runner seat. Thanks, New Hampshire voters. Thanks for saddling us with the repulsive spectacle of listening to her talk about herself for 10 more months.
2. Romney hasn't been knocked out. I don't even know much about him, other than he's a Republican and he seems to yap about illegal immigration a lot. But his name is "Mitt," for crissakes, and he's the only Morman from Massachusetts in history. Isn't there some sort of gentleman's agreement that they'll stay in Utah, while Jews & other "ethnics" like me will stay clear of . . . well, every state that's not on one of the coasts? Freakin' guy can't keep his end of the deal. For that alone he should lose.
But the Granite in the Head voters of New Hampshire have to throw enough votes his way so he can actually stick around. Assholes.
3. On the other hand, because they voted for Old Man McCain (did you know, by the way, that he was in a North Vietnamese prison? I bet there's a chance he'll mention that on the campaign trail), now we have to hear -- for the third time in eight years -- all sort of blather about what a maverick he is, what an outsider he is, how he's different from the other Republicans, blah, blah, blah.
You know, cause when I think of "outsider," I always picture a United States Senator with enough money/support to run for President three times.
4. John Edwards, who may actually be honest and seems to stand for something, is all-but eliminated. Nice job, New Hampshire. Buncha' champs.
5. Huckabee is still . . . on earth. And I blame that horrendous development on New Hampshire. Jerks.
6. Obama is still in the race too. Now, I prefer him to Hillary, but he's nothing more than a handsome face, a toothy smile, and a mellifluous voice delivering slick-but-empty messages (no wonder women love him -- that's been a winning formula since Erg picked up Druffa in a bar serving nothing but mead and fetid water in 35,000 BC). So, even though I'd rather him win over Hillary, the advantages of knocking him out last night were real.
But he managed to stay close, and stay in the race. Wonderful. Another week at least of a rightwingers' wet dream -- a Black man and a White woman teeing off on each other in the public eye, as GOPers debate each other over who can deport more illegal immigrants, torture more Muslims, and demolish more civil liberties. Thanks New Hampshire.
7. (This is the good one). Giuliani finishes in 46th place, earning 16 votes in the process. Heh heh.
I guess they never heard of 9-11 in New Hampshire.