Wednesday, January 09, 2008

NEW HAMPSHIT

Well, that didn't help to resolve anything, did it? Here I am hoping that Obama blows Hillary out of the water, and McCain demolishes Romney & Huckabee so brutally that the campaign is all-but-over before it even starts.

But noooooooooooo! The blockheaded voters of the Granite State have to go and vote for Hillary "Just Squirt A Few Tears And Watch 'Em Run Back To Me" Clinton, and give Johnny "The Maverick" McCain a narrow victory over Romney (no silly nickname required for a man named after a baseball glove.) Idiots!

Just horrendous news all around. Let's break it down from worst to . . . well, not quite as bad (though I promise to end with one piece of truly good news, at least in the opinion of this cranky-ass blogger.):

1. Hillary is back in the damn thing. In it to win it, as I'm sure she'd say. Like her husband 16 years ago, she's the Comeback Kid. Ugh.

As any regulars here know, my hatred for this selfish, egotistical horror show knows no bounds. She stands for nothing but "Hillary," she believes in nothing but "Hillary," and she'll sell whatever remains of her sorry excuse for a soul to the highest bidder in every situation.

(I know that's "true" of all politicians, especially those who run for Prez, but we're talking about matters of degree here. Along with Giuliani, she takes the Selfish:Serving Ratio to nearly infinite heights.)

And now she's back in the front runner seat. Thanks, New Hampshire voters. Thanks for saddling us with the repulsive spectacle of listening to her talk about herself for 10 more months.

2. Romney hasn't been knocked out. I don't even know much about him, other than he's a Republican and he seems to yap about illegal immigration a lot. But his name is "Mitt," for crissakes, and he's the only Morman from Massachusetts in history. Isn't there some sort of gentleman's agreement that they'll stay in Utah, while Jews & other "ethnics" like me will stay clear of . . . well, every state that's not on one of the coasts? Freakin' guy can't keep his end of the deal. For that alone he should lose.

But the Granite in the Head voters of New Hampshire have to throw enough votes his way so he can actually stick around. Assholes.

3. On the other hand, because they voted for Old Man McCain (did you know, by the way, that he was in a North Vietnamese prison? I bet there's a chance he'll mention that on the campaign trail), now we have to hear -- for the third time in eight years -- all sort of blather about what a maverick he is, what an outsider he is, how he's different from the other Republicans, blah, blah, blah.

You know, cause when I think of "outsider," I always picture a United States Senator with enough money/support to run for President three times.

4. John Edwards, who may actually be honest and seems to stand for something, is all-but eliminated. Nice job, New Hampshire. Buncha' champs.

5. Huckabee is still . . . on earth. And I blame that horrendous development on New Hampshire. Jerks.

6. Obama is still in the race too. Now, I prefer him to Hillary, but he's nothing more than a handsome face, a toothy smile, and a mellifluous voice delivering slick-but-empty messages (no wonder women love him -- that's been a winning formula since Erg picked up Druffa in a bar serving nothing but mead and fetid water in 35,000 BC). So, even though I'd rather him win over Hillary, the advantages of knocking him out last night were real.

But he managed to stay close, and stay in the race. Wonderful. Another week at least of a rightwingers' wet dream -- a Black man and a White woman teeing off on each other in the public eye, as GOPers debate each other over who can deport more illegal immigrants, torture more Muslims, and demolish more civil liberties. Thanks New Hampshire.

7. (This is the good one). Giuliani finishes in 46th place, earning 16 votes in the process. Heh heh.

I guess they never heard of 9-11 in New Hampshire.

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13 Comments:

Blogger steves said...

For some reason, Hillary scares me less than Obama. Maybe it is because she seems to go with whatever is popular and Obama seems more of a visionary, which is scarier to me. He seems like the kind of person who wouldn't feel bound by the Constitution and after the last two presidents, I am kind of tired of that.

Unfortunately, the only people I like in this election have little chance of getting the nomination and I will likely be forced to vote for the candidate I hate the least. Thanks, two-party system!

11:35 AM  
Anonymous wfta said...

As Butch said to Sundance, "Don't nothing suit you, Kid?"

1:01 PM  
Blogger George said...

In Druffa's defense, mead can really pack a wallop, and it seems light.

There's no defense for NH, I'm afraid.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Mr Furious said...

Wow. No Obamamania 'round here...

Obama started out as the most viable anti-Hillary for me, but I will willingly admit to buying in on his transformative capabilities. Maybe that makes me a sucker, but Hillary brings nothing to the table except the one she shares with the 90s retreads she surrounds herself with.

I like Edwards, but I just don't think he can get it done. If Hillary is the nominee, she stands a godd fucking chance of losing—and that scares the shit out of me.

1:41 PM  
Blogger Mr Furious said...

Oh, and steves, aren't you glad the fucking morons here in Michigan ensured our votes are worthless?

1:42 PM  
Blogger steves said...

Very true. Normally, I don't get all that excited about a primary, but I would of this time.

2:50 PM  
Blogger DED said...

I was bummed that Ron Paul didn't make a stronger showing. At least he beat Thompson and Hunter. Yes, fortunately, he's got the money to carry on with the campaign.

Where are these so called "independent" NH voters? What happened to "live free or die"? I guess it died, or they've got a diminished sense of "free".

3:28 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Thanks, two-party system!

Yeah, it's a real winner. Too bad Article VIII of the Constitution requires it.

"Don't nothing suit you, Kid?"

Sure, a few things: crispy french fries, nekkid ladies, my I-pod.

A naked girl, listening to my I-pod & eating crispy french fries gets my vote in any state.

There's no defense for NH

What hair of the dog for that one? S.C. primary?

the fucking morons here in Michigan ensured our votes are worthless

What's that? Punishment in the form of lost delegates because they moved up the primary? Reason 4,739 why these state-by-state primary days are idiotic.

DED - NH's got a changing demographic these days. Fastest growing state in New England from what I read.

6:17 AM  
Blogger Smitty said...

A visionary in my mind won't trample on the constitution. I think Obama would be bound by it. Our current Leader is by no stretch of the imagination a visionary and look what he's done with it...

Looks like Romney is going to lose Michigan. Perhaps that's why he's pulled all of his ad money from S.C. He is a "native" Michiganian, after al, so if he loses his own home state, he's got to drop out.


aren't you glad the fucking morons here in Michigan ensured our votes are worthless

It's way worse than just being morons. Saul Anuzis, the Michigan Republican Chair, is who actually wanted the change. Mark Brewer, the MI Dem party chair, thought he'd go along with it, despite vocal opposition from...all of the rest of the Democrats. Saul wanted the money and the presence here in Michigan earlier than normal and wanted to break-up the irrelevant monopoly that Iowa and N.H. have.

In the end, the republicans got everything they wanted: all the candidates, a bunch of money, and early Primary and some big-time help for Mitt. Their worse punishment was the loss of half of their delegates. The Dems? Nothing. No delegates at the convention, and Hillary and two unknowns as the only ones on the ballot.

10:35 AM  
Blogger DED said...

NH's got a changing demographic these days. Fastest growing state in New England from what I read.

Heh. Shouldn't be too hard. New England's overall population has been flat to declining for some time. CT has seen a mass exodus from the under-30 crowd.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Comandante Agí said...

The bottom line is: we're fucked any way the hand is dealt.

9:47 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Yup. And now it looks like even Paul is of very questionable character. Hmmm.

I still want to see his campaign make as much noise as possible, but my days of liking him, the man, may be fading a bit as we learn of some of the horrible things he said, or allowed to be said in his name.

Politics sucks, you know?

7:14 AM  
Blogger Comandante Agí said...

Yes it does. That's why I've been following sports much more lately...

10:50 AM  

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