EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY WANT TO KNOW ABOUT ME
This is the strongest indication yet that hordes of angry fans are teeming at my castle moat, torches aglow, ready to scale the walls to remove the non-blogging blogger from his throne of lethargy & sloth, demanding posts, words, thoughts, any firing of neurons in the great mass of grey matter.
Or something like that.
What happened? George, he of Non-Memers Of The World Unite (NMOTWU), as well as of I'm Not One To Blog, But . . . , has actually tagged me to meme a meme in a most memy manner.
I believe the entire thing is but a thinly-veiled attempt to return me to the world of blogging.
(I also believe that world history from 6,429 B.C. to this morning is one big plot to trick me into buying organic food and ethanol-based fuel, so maybe my ego isn't the most trustworthy source of analysis here.)
At any rate, global conspiracy, gesture of kindness, gesture of sadism, or just a big, whopping coincidence, it worked. Herewith . . . a post, for the first time in many weeks. Let's meme, bitchez.
1) Ten years ago I was...
In the very early stages of dating the woman now known to all as Mrs. Mike (actually, known by that moniker to no one except other bloggers. As I've said many times, my real name isn't Mike Mike. That'd be silly.)
When I say "very early stages" that means of course the "Cool, I'm Having Sex With A Chick I Really Dig" stage. Had you tried to tell to me -- ten years ago -- that I was on the verge of the "Married To And Sitting On The Couch In My Boxers Talking About What Shoes She Wants Me To Buy For Work Stage" I'd have simultaneously laughed in your face, punched you in the face, and gone out to find at least one of the remaining 3 billion women on earth for at least that night.
Alas.
2) Five things on today's to-do list:
* Get home from work before 10:00 pm.
* Pack before I go to sleep (in prep for yet another journey to a far-flung location, in my effort to bring truth & justice to America's damaged securities investors, as well as substantial contingency fees into the pockets of the partnership for whom I toil).
* Finish this post before 10:00 am.
* Thrash opposing counsel into a puddle of mush in a little, ongoing battle the details of which I won't bore you with.
* Bring joy & happiness to the world (or at least one of the two).
3) Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:
* Buy a baseball team.
* Support a harem in a lushly decorated den in the southeast wing of my opulent mansion.
* Play 2nd base for my baseball team (for at least one inning each season).
* Not run for public office.
4) Three bad habits:
* Drinking too much delicious, high ABV beer (or so Mrs. Mike tells me).
* Going days between showers during the winter.
* Showering on average more than twice a day during summer.
5) Five places I've lived:
* W. 11th St.
* E. 32nd St.
* W. 109th St.
* W. 121st St.
* W. 122nd. St.
(I'm a New Yorker, what can I tell you?)
6) Six jobs I've had in my life:
* Lawyer
* Teacher
* Film Production (not as sexy as it sounds, truuuuuuuuuust me).
* Bartender
* Waiter
* Grass roots political fundraiser
So there you have it folks, my entire life reduced to 24 factoids. You now know everything you could possibly know about me, which more than makes up for the fact that I post about once every three weeks these days. No silly movie posts, but with inside information on my personal hygiene habits, I think you'll agree it's a pretty solid trade.
I tag . . . Smitty, Rickey, DED, Furious, & the newly-returned to the fold of bloggers Otto. Meme it up, fellas.
Or something like that.
What happened? George, he of Non-Memers Of The World Unite (NMOTWU), as well as of I'm Not One To Blog, But . . . , has actually tagged me to meme a meme in a most memy manner.
I believe the entire thing is but a thinly-veiled attempt to return me to the world of blogging.
(I also believe that world history from 6,429 B.C. to this morning is one big plot to trick me into buying organic food and ethanol-based fuel, so maybe my ego isn't the most trustworthy source of analysis here.)
At any rate, global conspiracy, gesture of kindness, gesture of sadism, or just a big, whopping coincidence, it worked. Herewith . . . a post, for the first time in many weeks. Let's meme, bitchez.
1) Ten years ago I was...
In the very early stages of dating the woman now known to all as Mrs. Mike (actually, known by that moniker to no one except other bloggers. As I've said many times, my real name isn't Mike Mike. That'd be silly.)
When I say "very early stages" that means of course the "Cool, I'm Having Sex With A Chick I Really Dig" stage. Had you tried to tell to me -- ten years ago -- that I was on the verge of the "Married To And Sitting On The Couch In My Boxers Talking About What Shoes She Wants Me To Buy For Work Stage" I'd have simultaneously laughed in your face, punched you in the face, and gone out to find at least one of the remaining 3 billion women on earth for at least that night.
Alas.
2) Five things on today's to-do list:
* Get home from work before 10:00 pm.
* Pack before I go to sleep (in prep for yet another journey to a far-flung location, in my effort to bring truth & justice to America's damaged securities investors, as well as substantial contingency fees into the pockets of the partnership for whom I toil).
* Finish this post before 10:00 am.
* Thrash opposing counsel into a puddle of mush in a little, ongoing battle the details of which I won't bore you with.
* Bring joy & happiness to the world (or at least one of the two).
3) Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:
* Buy a baseball team.
* Support a harem in a lushly decorated den in the southeast wing of my opulent mansion.
* Play 2nd base for my baseball team (for at least one inning each season).
* Not run for public office.
4) Three bad habits:
* Drinking too much delicious, high ABV beer (or so Mrs. Mike tells me).
* Going days between showers during the winter.
* Showering on average more than twice a day during summer.
5) Five places I've lived:
* W. 11th St.
* E. 32nd St.
* W. 109th St.
* W. 121st St.
* W. 122nd. St.
(I'm a New Yorker, what can I tell you?)
6) Six jobs I've had in my life:
* Lawyer
* Teacher
* Film Production (not as sexy as it sounds, truuuuuuuuuust me).
* Bartender
* Waiter
* Grass roots political fundraiser
So there you have it folks, my entire life reduced to 24 factoids. You now know everything you could possibly know about me, which more than makes up for the fact that I post about once every three weeks these days. No silly movie posts, but with inside information on my personal hygiene habits, I think you'll agree it's a pretty solid trade.
I tag . . . Smitty, Rickey, DED, Furious, & the newly-returned to the fold of bloggers Otto. Meme it up, fellas.
Labels: I'm Back, Or Maybe Not, Perhaps I'm Just Paul Newman With Cheesy Sunglasses
posted by Mike at 6:10 AM
9 Comments:
Are you kidding me with this tag?
I'll do it. And probably enjoy it, but it'll be a few days...
Oh, heads up—Otto Man and the boys are back!
Never mind. You knew that.
Thanks for playing, Mike. And to be honest, I didn't mean for it to be a veiled attempt at all. It was and out and out, full buck naked attempt to get you blogging again.
And sorry for that image.
Done. But my kids hate you for me having to take time away from them to do it. :)
Damn you. Damn you to hell.
I guess it's time to start teasing you in a comment thread so you might post something else.
How bout those Mets, Huh?
I'd love to post, George. About the Mets or anything else. But I can't describe to you how busy I've been, how rarely I'm even in NY lately.
Maybe next month I'll have a little more time.
Two words: Travel photos!
Gee, you must be really busy. I thought for sure you'd get a parting shot in on Hillary, given your love for her.
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