BLACK FRIDAY (AKA, MIKE MAKES LAME EXCUSES FOR DISAPPOINTING THE ENTIRE WORLD)

I'll open right up with apologies: something work-related came up late yesterday, which'll keep me busy for much of this morning, and maybe into the afternoon. No big deal in the big picture (actually, it's not bad at all), but not enough time to do the Friday Silly Movie Of My Youth Of The Day any justice. Like a good stew or rack of ribs, the FSMOMYOTD needs slow cookin', with a proper dose of TLC and all the right spices. (For instance, I bet you didn't realize I use cumin, fennel, & one bay leaf every time. You stick to reading and let me do the preparing, ok?)

At any rate, it ain't happening, stop yer' whining, and remember that it's Friday.

Nevertheless . . . I always like to keep that FSMOMYOTD train a-moving, so let's throw a few things out there. Among the flicks I considered doing this week were Meatballs, Fright Night, and the original Hardbodies. A goofy Canadian comedy for which Kate Lynch actually won the Genie (the Canuck Oscars) for Best Actress; one of the early "post-modern," self-conscious, horror-comedy flicks; and a Skin-a-max classic, featuring the timeless diddy, "I Don't Fuck Fossils For Free."

And why am I mentioning this? Because you -- the 14 or so sub-human wretches who actually tune in regularly to follow my geeky prattlings about 25 year-old movies that time and humanity have forgotten -- are going to pick the next FSMOMYOTD. Yes, I know I tried this once before, and it went down in a flaming wreck worthy of a 70's disaster film. This is true.

But . . . that was because I foolishly made an open-ended plea for requests. And despite suggestions for movies so profoundly ludicrous, so idiotic and preposterous, they might as well have been produced specifically so they'd appear in one of these posts, I could not take you up on it. Because I haven't seen Xanadu. Or Death Race 2000. (Or even Night of the Lepus, whatever the hell that is.) And there's no way I'm filling that void now. Does that make me a bad FSMOMYOTDer? Probably. And for that I deserve derision, scorn, heaping helpings of abuse, and even a rotten tomato or two tossed in my direction.

None of which changes the fact that I can't "do" a movie I ain't seen. So deal with it. And vote! As Puffy (Diddy?) warned, "Vote . . . Or Die." Cast your choices in the comments, along with the aforementioned (Warning: Lawyer Word Alert!) derision & scorn. Even if the tally comes in at 1-0-0, the winner gets done next. Democracy in action, folks.

Freedom, and silly movies, are on the march everywhere.