BREAKING NEWS: JOHN McCAIN IS A MAVERICK DICK!

So you can see there, sir--
Shut up, camouflage-boy, I'm mavericampaignin'.

One day after Mitt Romney's call to increase military spending, failing Republican presidential candidate & world-famous Maverick, John McCain, threw his own shrill voice into the overheated atmosphere, declaring his support for the Eternal War in Iraq. Explaining to the crowd at the über-Republican stronghold known as the Virginia Military Institute that the War must never end, the Maverick Politician maverickly explained his maverick position:

It is the right road. It is necessary and just. Democrats, who deny our soldiers the means to prevent an American defeat, have chosen another road. It may appear to be the easier course of action but it is a much more reckless one . . . . Our defeat in Iraq would constitute a defeat in the war against terror and extremism, and would make the world a much more dangerous place.

From there, MaveriCain had nowhere to go but straight to the standard invocation of his own military service:

I know the pain war causes. I understand the frustration caused by our mistakes in this war. I also know the toll a lost war takes on an army and a country.

So let me see if I get this straight: Because John "The Maverick" McCain suffered in the Vietnam War, partly because of the failed policies of the government, he can now support the government's failed policies in the latest war. Do I have that right?

At that point, only one destination remained for his speeech: the heart of dishonesty that lies deep inside all politicians, even mavericks:

I would rather lose a campaign than a war.

Guess what, John? Your wish is a good as your command!

Coming tomorrow: Rudy outflanks the Maverick & the Mitt, as he declares his support for the War, defense spending, boot camps for girls who've had abortions, concentration camps for Gays who marry, the repeal of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 8th Amendments, as well as his intention to make his wayword son start speaking to him again: it's all about the Family!