Friday, August 18, 2006

A LITTLE FRIDAY MORNING WALK THROUGH THE WORLD

Just a couple Quick Hits (aka, a stroll through my newsreader) to get the morning started:

*** Unfortunately Worded Yahoo! News Headline Of The Day:
Letter Threatens To Blow Up Taj Majal
That's one bad-ass letter, huh? "P"? "Y"? "E"? Specifics, please!

This reminds me of Sesame Street or the Electric Company, or one of those other shows back on PBS from the distant days of my youth. "This episode was going to brought to you by the letter 'P' but since 'P' is now in Gitmo, this episode will instead be brought to you by the letter 'L.'"


*** I Thought Siegfried & Roy Did The Animal Act, And Barry Writes The Songs That Make The Whole World Sing? For the love of god, check out this picture of Barry Manilow, in the news because he hurt his hip or something, and now he can't sing his cheesy classics in Vegas for a few weeks:

His hip's the least of his worries. He doesn't alter his appearence a bit, I think Montecore might head to the wrong casino and make his move.


*** From the "Oh Great, As If We Needed Another Reason For Parents To Just Stick The Kids In Front Of The Damn Idiot Box All Day Long" Files, we learn from AP that:
TV Found To Be A Painkiller For Children
It's the Pain-in-the-Ass-Killer-For-Parents aspect that concerns me.

"Mommy, I have a headache."

"Go watch some TV!"


*** According To Reuters:
North Korea "could now be preparing its first test of a nuclear bomb, U.S. media cited U.S. officials as saying."
Say what? Could be preparing to test a nuclear bomb according to US media based on what US officials said. Uhhh, I'm no sceintist, but that one seems juuuuuust a bit below the probability threshhold.

Of course, next time Bush conducts a press conference, this becomes:
North Korea, a member of the evil-doers, of the, uh, Axis of Evil, under the directions of its evil leader, Kim Jong Il, will launch a fully-armed nuke-u-lar device tomorrow. Amer'ca is, we're gonna be, we're prepared for this, and we will send, by invasion, we're sending 35,000 of our troops across the DMZ tonight. Y'all gonna be safe. But it's very dangerous, the most dangerous threat, ya know, that we've faced yet. So be prepared, be frightened, and, uh, be terrified. But y'all are safe. Amer'ca will protect you.

*** They Only Did It Cause Of Fame, Who . . . ?

According To BBC, British Recording Giant, EMI, Has Signed A Deal With Software Giant, Microsoft, To Do Something With Some I-Pod Type Of Device.

If you're curious about the details, check out the article. I don't care about this sort of thing. What I do care about, however, is determining the percentage of 30-59 year-olds who will sing (aloud or in their heads), "Eee-emmm-eyyyyyyyyye," before sneering & making a "dah-dah-dah" guitar riffing sound, within 15 seconds of reading the headline.

Hey, don't get mad at me; it's not a bad song to have in your head, is it?

And my guess is 43%. Not everyone knows the tune. But if they do . . . no chance of escape. None!


*** Yahoo! News Headline Of The Day That Pisses Me Off:
More Questions Arise In JonBenet Case
Yeah, I got two questions myself: Didn't this fucking case happen like 10 years ago. And, can we please stop hearing about it all day long now?

And finally . . .


*** From BBC News, We Learn That The Economy Isn't The Only Thing Growing Real Fast In China:
China Warned Over Growing Obesity: People In China Are Becoming Overweight At An Alarming Rate
I guess capitalism, democracy, & debt aren't the only things we're spreading to the world. McDonalds seems to doing just fine too.

6 Comments:

Blogger Otto Man said...

Man, that's the only time the words "Barry Manilow" and "hip" have ever been in the same sentence.

11:53 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

I think some old lady from Miami did a "hip-hip horray" when she got Manilow tix back in '94.

Otherwise, I gotta agree.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Weaseldog said...

Please, no more Barry Manilow.... :P

4:46 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahah!!!

With my evil plans . . . and judiciously-placed pictures of Bary Manilow, it's only a matter of time til I RULE THE WORLD!!!,

Bwahahahahahahahahahah!!!

4:56 PM  
Blogger Alan P. said...

Using Barry Manilow pictures is against the Geneva convention. You may one day rule the world using this weapon, but what kind of world would it be?

9:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I travelled through China for about 6 months, from Hong Kong, then up the Pearl River, hiking through the mountains of Guang-xi and Guizhou provinces, through Yunnan, Gansu, and Xinjiang. This was in '96. I went through a lot of big, dynamic cities and big swaths of countryside. I followed the Yellow River back east and finally wound up my travels in Shanghai. It was there that I saw my first fat chinese person. An eight year old boy, stuffing ice-cream in his mouth, walking front of a Kentucky Fried Chicken. This is the truth. No lie. I handn't even noticed that I hadn't seen any truly overweight people until that moment.

7:46 PM  

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