Wednesday, May 16, 2007

JERRY, FAREWELL

As with the passing of another luminary last winter -- Augosto Pinochet -- I won't stoop to the level of the man about whom I'm writing. No sir, no unkind words here for Jerry Falwell, not on the day after he's shuffled off the mortal coil.

I'm all dignified & shit, ya' know?

Instead, I'll merely let the founder of Liberty University & the man who brought us the Moral Majority speak for himself:

On the tragedy of 9/11:
I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say "you helped this happen."
On AIDS & homosexuality:
AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals.
On Martin Luther King & the Civil Rights movement:
I do question the sincerity and non-violent intentions of some civil rights leaders such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mr. James Farmer, and others, who are known to have left-wing associations.
On organized labor:
Labor unions should study and read the Bible instead of asking for more money. When people get right with God, they are better workers.
And let's not forget who put Tinky Winky in the headlines, and if I'm not mistaken, blamed the 2004 tsunami on homosexuals.

Anyhow, with those words of wisdom, empathy, and charity in mind, perhaps I'll leave off with a quotation from the man he supposedly represented on earth (and here's hoping St. Peter knows his New Testament):
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
Or how 'bout this one:
Not everyone who says to Me, "Lord, Lord," shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, "Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?" And then I will declare to them, "I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!"
Good luck, Jerry (you're gonna need it.)

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Applesaucer said...

Great post, Mike. I'm not a religious person, as you know, but those two New Testament quotations are great things to remember and appropriate as well.

Falwell and others like him remind me of New Testament era Pharisees and Saducees.

Applesaucer

8:28 AM  
Blogger DED said...

Yes, great post, Mike. You saved me the trouble of writing about him (Beer won out last night). And the New Testament quotes you picked were absolutely perfect.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Ed in Westchester said...

The God I pray too isn't short of cash mister.

So sayeth Bono.

Now, Sam Kinison had a great riff on the televangalists:

God is looking over the bible:
"Where the fuck did I say to build a waterslide? Where are they getting this shit?...
I never said to build an old folks home and use it as a tax write off. Oh, you dicks, you fucking dicks".

Now, I'm sure the Lord doesn't curse that much, but the gist is OK.

Robin Williams had a good line to:

"I'm hoping Jesus comes back as a large black man named Jesse "Get me Jerry Falwell, bring him to me now".

No great loss here.
Alas, there are others to take his place. They seem to multiply.
Some are as dangerous as fanatics from other religions that they themselves rail against.

11:06 AM  
Blogger maurinsky said...

The tears.....they just won't come.

11:07 AM  
Blogger George said...

I didn't know that quote about labor. Thanks for making me miss him even less.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Mort said...

I shudder to think where the country would be right now if the religious right had not evolved.

Jerry Falwell

Religion has caused more harm than any other idea since the beginning of time. There's nothing good I can say about it.

Larry Flynt

I'm going to side with Flynt on this one.

1:06 PM  
Blogger Rickey Henderson said...

Rickey says: good riddance to a real grade-a schmuck.

9:15 AM  

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