But once in a while, I sense the eyes of humanity staring deep into the core of my soul, and I'll feel that need to let on that sometimes I might have misfired. Might have. Let's see what we've got here. On June 24 of this very year, I declared the following to be an indisputable fact:
Carlos Delgado CANNOT be the starting first baseman for a major league team trying to play in October. He's 36 years-old (or at least he will be tomorrow). He's slow. He's an awful fielder. And . . . most importantly, since he plays first base, He Can't Hit!"Trundling"! "Fucking corpse"! "Trot Nixon"! Them's some strong words there. Now you probably think I'm going to use this self-fisking post to offer contrition, admit how wrong I was, and conclude once and for all that my baseball analysis is for shit.
His numbers through 75 games played are 234/307/405. Last season he hit 258/333/448. That's 1 1/2 seasons of sub-800 OPSing by a first baseman. A first baseman who can't run, nor can he field.
This has to stop. Play Easley against lefties, play Nixon at first against righties, play Nick Evans. But stop trundling this fucking corpse out there day-after-day. Enough.
If you think so, then you, my friends, don't know your host very well at all.
Instead, I'll offer up the only explanation possible: Señor Delgado is a reader of Mike's Neighborhood. And how do I know this? Because in his second game after I wrote this damning screed -- after a half season of extraordinarily sucky-ass suckitude -- Big Carlos unloaded the famous 2 homer, 1 double, 9 RBI spectacular on the unsuspecting baseball world. Then he followed with his excellent July and after starting to scuttle again, he gave us last night's 5-for-5 performance, complete with seeing-eye grounders, atrocious Brave fielding miscues, and all that sort of thing. The man is back.
He clearly read my June 24 post & rose to the challenge. There. Is. No. Other. Explanation.
I accept all thanks for saving the Mets season. And I accept checks for large sums of money in lieu of thanks if you're not into that sort of thing.